Searching comfort
by Sammy Elle
Summary: Title changed!This is an ElleHotch fic!I m a real big fan of this two characters, and actually I missed fics about them a bit, so I wrote my own one!Chapter 12 is up!PLEASE,AS ALWAYS, R&R!
1. How it began

**Discs.: The same as always, even if I really wish for it -I don´t own the show or the characters of CM!**

**A/N: Well this is my first Cm fanfic, before this I wrote three fics for WaT. I´m a big Elle/Hotch fan and, because there are (in my opinion) not enough fics about them I wrote my own...I rewtote some parts of it...  
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Sweet, little secrets, part 1 1.How it began 

It had started long before they came that close to each other. After that hostage situation he had changed. Before that incident he had treated her different, he had respected her from the beginning but was, like always totally professional, he was aware of the conduct codes of the FBI, he never touched her not even a short touch on the shoulder to encourage her – not that he behaved in front of other female agents differently, but on the other hand with male agents it was different: they received encouraging gestures like a light clap on the shoulder. But then he had changed – only in front of her – suddenly he gave her encouraging looks and stuff like that, during the flights they sat next to each other talked about the case or just sat there, both thinking about their own personal stuff. After she had been shot he was often in the hospital, sitting next to her bed, watching her, just to make sure she was okay – now. Once she had woken up without him noticing right away – and she was able to see the guilt in his eyes even if everyone knew it hadn´t been his fault. Afterwards he had worried a lot about her, before she left.

_Not even two months after Elle left the BAU :_

Hotch opened the door of the bar, it was one of the bars the team often visited to celebrate birthdays, good endings of bad cases, stuff like that, and wanted to take a seat on a table that was placed in a dark corner when he saw a brown- haired woman, who looked so much like Elle. After another moment he was pretty sure that it really was her so he walked over to the place where she sat and said, after taking a seat next to her : "Hey ." Elle turned around surprised to hear a voice that sounded so familiar, when she saw that it was her former boss she smiled and greeted him in a light tone : " Hey! Nice to see you after a so long time. What are you doing here?" Aaron thought a moment about how to answer that question. He did not want to tell her how horrible he still felt, because of what had happened to her, how guilty he still felt or that he regretted having let her go, so he answered only : " I just wanted to have a drink after working on a difficult case…What is your reason to be at this late hour still up and in a bar? By the way how are you?" " Fine, thanks, "after seeing his doubtful expression she went on, "really, I´m feeling much better." "We have a new team member…She´s not even half as good as you…However, I´m glade that you feel better. But you should not have quit!" "What else should I have done? I haven´t even trusted myself! And I actually trusted no-one on the team…I was feeling helpless and alone. I felt like I was more a burden than any help for you…" "Listen, you are not a burden, you never could be one! You got that?!" When Aaron saw her nod his facial expression changed to a very satisfied one. After a moment Elle asked : "So how is everyone?" He thought for a moment, then he answered : "Well, they are missing you! I mean, they start to accept your decision but it´s still hard for them. And your replacement, Emily Prentiss, is…I actually don´t know. She´s the daughter of a politician and she is used to always get what she wants. It is very hard to get along with her and even harder to like her! She is the total opposite of you!" "Oh…Well, what´s with Haley and Jack?" "The usual…They are fine. But I wish I could spent more time with them!" "What was that _difficult _case about?" She grinned. "A woman had been killed. Her murderer had first raped her, then he had burned her ´til she died. Afterwards he had cut through her throat and sent her head to her boyfriend. I should better mention that she was married! At the end we found out that it had been her own brother, who did this to her. He was the best-friend of her husband. He also was psychotic." Elle just smiled for a while, before she said suddenly : "What is the _real _reason?" Hotch looked at her, totally stunned. "Well Hotch, you should not forget that I had worked as profiler!" "You could still be one. I mean you are one hell of a profiler! It had not been that long since you have quit and it would be easy to get you back on the team. Before you say something, Prentiss is not a problem she could find something better very fast! But okay…I´m here because I needed a distraction of the work and everything else! I can not sleep, then there is Jessica who has decided to visit us for three weeks, and so it´s very difficult to even talk with Haley about something without her sister telling her own opinion even if she is not asked about what she is thinking, this morning Haley and I had an argument, because I told her that I want Jessica to leave sooner and to top all of this I have nightmares and every moment of the day, when I have nothing to distract me I feel guilty, because of…a lot of things." He wasn´t able to tell her that he felt especially guilty because of what happened to her. "What´s with you, Elle?" " Nearly the same…I mean I really feel better but there are moments, when I´m totally down and regretting so much I did wrong in my life!" Like this they talked and drank.

_Nearly three hours later :_

"Hey Elle, we should better leave now, before we get to drunk to walk…" Elle only nodded. They paid their drinks separated – Hotch had asked to pay for both of them but she said no. They walked outside. After a moment of silence Aaron said : "Well, maybe it would be better, if I bring you home…," he trailed off and Elle nodded in agreement. So when finally a cab arrived they waved to make it stop and took both a seat in it. Elle told the driver her address and leaned back. They sat next to each other, saying nothing.

When they arrived he left the taxi as well, wanting to walk her to her door, making sure nothing would happen to her. During the time Elle searched for the right key Aaron put an arm around her, suddenly feeling what he had tried to forget since he noticed it the first time. He gave her a tender kiss onto the side of her neck. Elle unlocked finally the door and they went in. After closing – or to be more exact - nearly slamming the door shut Hotch pinned her onto it and they started kissing each other in a passionate but also tender way. When they broke away for air they smiled at each other and she led him to the bedroom, where they continued where they stopped. She started undressing him stroking over the toned muscles of his thorax, kissing and touching him., she went on with her task in undressing him. He did the same with her after she was finished with pulling off his trousers and pants. He pulled off her shirt, her pants. He stroked her hair, letting his hands slide down on her side opening the clasp of her bra. It fall down to the ground. He touched her smooth skin, cupped her perfect breasts, before he finally let his hands slide to the top of her panties and pulled them down as well. They sank down onto the top of her bed. They enjoyed a long passionate but also tender foreplay, during which they explored each other. When he finally entered her they both were more than ready for each other. Every thrust, every single touch brought them closer to their climax. After another few moments he felt her shudder a bit, under him, the next strong thrust was for both of them the undoing. It wouldn´t be the only time in that night.

At the morning Aaron´s cellphone started ringing. He answered it. It was Gideon, who wanted to know where he was. The two men talked for a moment and then ended the conversation. Elle had stood up and was making coffee when Hotch came down. They drank both a mug of it before he finally left.

_At the residence of the family Hotchner, a bit more than 20 minutes later :_

Aaron opened the door. His wife was sitting in the living-room and stood up when she heard the door being opened and shut. " Where have you been the whole night? I was worried nearly to death, Jessica is gone…Wait - have you drunk…?" "Well, a friend from my college time had been left by his wife, he needed someone to talk to, so he called me. Sorry, that I haven´t called you to tell you I wouldn´t be home. I can not stay that long, because I have a new case…"

_Tbc_

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**A/N: I hope you liked it! Please send me a lot of REVIEWS, please...**


	2. The day after

**Discs.:Tsaa( the same as always)**

**A/N:Also rewritten...**

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**Sweet, little secrets, part 1 

_2.The day after…_

After Hotch had left her home Elle started to get ready for meeting an old friend from her time in Seattle. During taking a shower, memories of the last night popped up in her mind – his face, the things they said to each other – everything…But after only a few short moments she started to tell herself to stop with thinking about it, about _him_. She tried to concentrate on her late breakfast meeting with a former best friend. But when she stood in front of her ward-robe she was surprised by noticing that she asked herself what Aaron would like her to wear…That was ridiculous – it had been an one-night-stand, for both of them, or at least that was what she told herself…

_Ten minutes later, in a nice looking coffee shop :_

It was not like her at all to come too late, but today…she had been unsure about what to wear, the traffic was like hell and to top all those reasons for coming late she hadn´t found a place where she could park. She saw Laura the same moment she entered her favorite coffee shop. "Hey! Why are coming that late?! I mean it was _your_ idea to meet here and that early…" "Hey Laura,_ I´m also very happy to see you again after a so long time…_Look, I´m sorry, okay?! How are you? You said something about _great _news on the phone…" Laura thought for a moment then she answered : "Ohh yeah…Well…I´m engaged with a really great guy…" she showed her left hand, "his name is Sean Stevens. We´re knowing each other now for more than a half year…He´s professor on a college… His parents are owning a law firm…They like me, my parents like him – it´s _perfect _!" "Wow! I´m happy for you…So you planning to get married?! Since when are you interested in serious relationships? I mean, before this _Sean _your relationships took maybe 3 months… Seems to be a new record…" "Hey, Elle! Wait a minute…Everyone turns to an adult someday! And, well …I´m now in an age, where I have to decide for or against having my own little family. And I think Sean is my _Mr Right_. We have a lot in common, we both want one or two children and…like I said it´s perfect!" They smiled, drank their coffee and ate breakfast, before deciding to go shopping.

During the time they were shopping they talked about everything that happened since they met the last time – before Elle had moved to Washington, D.C. to work for the BAU. So it actually was a lot to talk about and all thoughts about Hotch and their night together vanished from her brain. They had a lot of fun together, and before parting they promised each other to keep in contact this time. Elle also promised her friend that she would try to appear on her wedding.

When arrived at home she made herself busy, so she was not thinking about him again.

_Meanwhile at the home of the family Hotchner :_

During the time he took a shower Aaron tried to focus on the case. When he left, Haley gave him a short kiss. He ignored it. He was too focused on the case.

After he arrived at the BAU office he asked for all information they had received yet. They boarded the plane to New York City. During the flight Gideon and Morgan were seated near him. Everyone in the team had noticed that something was going on, but nobody was willing to ask the boss what. After a while Gideon asked : "Everything alright, with you?!" Hotch nodded slowly then he answered : "Just, haven´t slept that much…!" With that the topic was finished. Suddenly images of the last night popped up in his head, Elle´s face, her voice, which whispered his name between moans, groans and cries of lust. He remembered how it had felt to touch her smooth skin, to smell the sweet scent of her own combined with the ones of her shampoo, an exotic body lotion and an exquisite perfume. He remembered the look in her eyes, which had shown that on her side it had not really anything to do with the alcohol they had drunk. And all of it combined made him feeling aroused so he tried to forget about it…Was he thinking it had been wrong to cheat on Haley? – Yes, he still loved her. Did he regretted it? – No and that was worrying him! Would he do it again? – He wasn´t sure. Maybe. How was she thinking about it, he wasn´t sure as well. He regretted how he had treated his wife that morning. Okay that lie he had told her had been necessary. But when he had left…He should have shown a reaction. His phone rang. It was Haley, who told him something about a funny thing their son had done. During he listened to her he smiled. At the end he said : "Listen…Today is…I didn´t wanted to be that way to you when I left. I was just coming late and totally focused on the new case…" she interrupted him and told him that she understood and so they both hung up.

After thinking for a long time about many personal stuff Aaron was really happy when they landed at the John F. Kennedy international airport, in New York City. On the way to the New York field office of the FBI he took a look into the case file again, preparing himself for the real work and all those question he would have to answer.

_Later that day :_

The case had been easier to solve than he had thought at the beginning. So they were now on the flight back to D.C. He was satisfied for the moment. Gideon, who was sitting next to him was telling him his opinion about the surprising end of the  
case : A broker had vanished with two colleagues in thin air. In the end they found out that they had betrayed everyone and had planned to get to Cayman Island and have a happy life with the money of others. Now they would spent the rest of their "career" in a prison, maybe Sing-Sing …

When they arrived at the office Aaron concentrated on his paperwork and made suddenly a decision. He dialled the number of his home and told Haley he had a lot to do and would come home very late so she shouldn´t wait and that it could also be that he wouldn´t come home at all this night. After he put the receiver of the phone back into its place he signed the last sheet of paperwork and made himself ready to leave. During his walk to his car he called a Chinese restaurant and ordered food. After finishing that call as well he drove to one of those supermarkets which are open 24 hours a day and bought a bottle of expensive, red wine.

_40 minutes later :_

When Hotch had arrived in front of the building he thought for a moment about what he was going to do. He asked himself if it had been the right thing to do. Then he finally left his car, walked to the door and ringed the door bell.

After a moment Elle opened and was looking totally confused, after a moment she said : "Hotch, what…Well come in, " and opened the door more for him."She showed him into the living-room and before he took a seat on the couch he gave her the Chinese and wine and explained : "I think we should talk…" She only nodded, went to the kitchen to get some plates and glasses and took a seat next to him.

During they ate the talked about the situation. After they had finished their meal they were quiet for a moment and Elle carefully touched her shoulder, trying to get rid of the knots, which had built up during the day. Hotch watched her for a moment, then he asked : "Are you okay?" She told him what the matter was and without a warning, Aaron put his hands on her shoulders, trying to loosen the knots. In that way they sat for a while, no one of them was saying anything. He was starting to talk again telling her that it had been a big mistake what they had done the night before, because he was married, he loved his wife and his son, he was her former boss, and finally he said : "…It had meant nothing…" with the time he had talked always slower and quieter ´til he finally trailed totally off, his movements were getting slower and slower, ´til they stopped to move at all. Elle turned around, and noticed the look in his eyes – full of longing, anticipation and also lust. Without really noticing, their faces came closer to each other until their lips touched in an at first very tender, but then more and more passionate kiss. He pulled her up and they went upstairs, all the time kissing or touching each other.

It was the same as the night before, they enjoyed every moment. When Hotch finally laid down next to her he put an arm around her and pulled her close to him. For a while they laid their without saying anything, but after a few minutes he gave her a kiss and got up, making himself ready for leaving. But then he went back to the bed, leaned down and gave her a final kiss. Then he left.

_Tbc_

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**A/N: I hope you liked it. PLEASE LET ME KNOW HOW YOU THINK ABOUT IT!!!**


	3. A difficult case

**Discs.: You know how it goes...**

**A/N:Just changed a bit...**

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Sweet, little secrets, part 1 

_3.A difficult case_

_Two weeks later :_

They all had noticed that something was going on with Hotch, he locked his office now even when he left it only for a few minutes, sometimes he was a lot more cheerful as before, he even smiled sometimes what was really rare especially since Elle had left but there were also times when he seemed totally stressed, but nobody wanted to ask, what it was.

They only got the case in and JJ wanted to tell Aaron about it, like usually. His office door was closed but in the past it hadn´t mattered if it was open or closed. But this time…

_Meanwhile in Hotch´s office :_

He hadn´t slept at all. It had been like a few times before, to be more exact it happened 7 times – he knew it exactly. Something he wasn´t sure about at all was what this whole situation meant for everyone who was involved into it. He tried to focus on the task at hand. He was thinking about what had happened before Elle had left. The guilt he had felt for everything, he had wished to be able to change the past. How much he had missed her before they met again in that bar. Images of the last night came back to his mind.

_Flashback:_

He had arrived in record time. After he had let himself in, with the key she had given to him during their third night together, he went to the kitchen, because he heard her washing the dishes. When she heard him approaching she turned around and smiled, her gorgeous smile. He pulled her closer and gave her a kiss.

Later, when they laid in bed together he stroked her smooth skin. Suddenly his fingers touched lightly the scar on her chest and he noticed that this scar was his fault. Elle noticed the look in his eyes and wondered for herself what Hotch thought when he finally said : " I´m sorry for…" she stopped him with giving him a kiss. He noticed then that, what she had said that one day after he had to let William Lee walk, was not what she really thought. But it didn´t changed anything for him.

End flashback 

Suddenly his office door was being opened by JJ and his thoughts were interrupted. Before she was able to say something Hotch stood up and went, with a very angry grimace on his face outside. JJ followed him. After he had the attention of every team member he made clear how angry he was. " Who the hell you think you are? There is something called right of privacy…There are reasons why my office has a door, for at least a bit of privacy! And to make this clear it will have consequences for you, JJ…In the future you will write every piece of paperwork with hand, your payment will be shortened over 15 percent and if I only find one mistake in a report of you, you will rewrite it ´til it is perfect!" " Hotch…" " Don´t called me this! Maybe I was not saying something against it before but now it´s over with that! I´m your boss, a person you have to respect. For all of it´s from this moment Supervisory Special Agent Hotchner , Agent Hotchner or even Aaron, but never ever again _Hotch_… Was that clear enough?" "But," it was Morgan again so Hotch made his point clear with an "Well, it seems like I made it not clear enough…I think, because you wouldn´t have a problem with not using the pc for your paperwork, it would have more effect on your behavior to shorten your payment as well! " Suddenly Gideon said : " Don´t you think that´s a bit hard and unnecessary?"´ "I´m the boss not you…And I have enough of your behavior in front of me. I have enough of, " he looked straight at Gideon "an agent who is in the opinion of the directors of the FBI unable to do his job without getting agents killed," he looked at Morgan "an agent, who is a person who is totally concentrated on himself, " he looked at Reid " a person who thinks he knows everything," he shot a stone-cold look at Prentiss " and last but not least I have enough of an agent, who has this job only, because of daddy dears, but is a horrible profiler ! Was that clear enough? Then let´s get to the case!" JJ gave them the details and they boarded the plane.

Everyone was talking quietly about Hotch´s outburst. Suddenly his phone ringed, he pulled it out of one of the pockets of his jacket an answered it with a " Hey " He fought the impulse to smile when he heard Elle saying warmly : "Hey yourself!…You can not talk, right?!" " Yeah…A new case… I will call this evening, okay?" He ended the conversation. JJ approached him with an unreadable expression on her face. " I have the information you asked for…" He nodded and after getting them handed over he said : Listen, I´m sorry about what I said…It´s just…I don´t know, I haven´t slept that much in the last time. I hope you can forgive me my behavior…I mean you have not really done anything wrong, because in the past it was not a problem and maybe I was kind of harsh…Of course you don´t have to write everything per hand and I will not shorten your payment…" She only was able to nod. He felt ridiculous about the fact that he nearly begged for forgiveness from a subordinate. He wasn´t the type of person who acted that way…

His thoughts were now focused on the case but often he had to think about his outburst that morning. He regretted the things he said to his team members, he hadn´t a problem with being called Hotch and also not with their behavior. What he had said was not really true, except the things he said about Prentiss. What he said about her was his real opinion she was not as half as good as Elle, like he had told Elle in that bar, he hated her for taking Elle´s position in the team away, because he had hoped she would come back someday. And to top it he couldn´t really do anything against her being there, because of her father. So the situation this morning had been the perfect chance to tell her his opinion without her running to daddy and bare her soul to that bastard and tell him how cruel her new boss is to her. Another reason, why he hated her was the fact that everytime he saw Prentiss he was reminded of _his _failure : He hadn´t been able to protect Elle, even if it wasn´t making Elle angry it made him angry…He was still feeling guilty for not telling Agent Anderson to stay there with her…Or maybe he should have brought her home himself?? His thoughts were interrupted ones more, this time by Gideon , who took a seat next to him and asked : "Have you meant what you said this morning?" Hotch shook his head no. Gideon´s face was lit up by an expression of satisfaction and he relaxed.

_Two hours later near a small town :_

When they arrived they were met by the police officers who had found the two bodies. In the police station they were informed about new leads the police had found. The two women had been raped and then killed with a cut through their abdomen. The unsub had redressed them in dresses like princesses, he had put make- up on their faces and arranged the bodies in an, on pictures of fairy-tales oriented way. Another thing was that it wasn´t the first case like this in that town. There had been another four women, who were killed like this but no real lead. The press was calling him _the fairy-tale-killer_, because of the way he was arranging the bodies. The women had not that much in common with each other except the fact they were all pregnant since a short while. The unborn children had vanished and nobody knew what happened to them.

One possibility the team thought of, was that the unsub, was totally fascinated by tales, that he had a problem with his sexuality, and was, because of that reason, letting the unborn babies vanish, to build for himself and maybe also others the illusion, the women were still virgins. In cases like this he wished so much Elle would be there to tell them her conclusions, but she wasn´t…

After a while they had completed their profile, after they had taken a look onto the crime scene and also onto photos of the crime scenes of the other murders. They described him to the police officers as a man in the middle thirties, white not very suggestful in his job, single, a quiet person who had grown up in a rich family, always watched by a nanny.

_Very late that evening :_

They were right with their profile and caught him soon, even if it was not that easy for them. But they had to stay because of the horrible weather. So they decided to go to eat in a small Chinese restaurant. Because of the case they had forgotten Hotch´s outburst that morning, so the atmosphere was light and they talked in a good mood about the case and other stuff. After they had finished they went to a bar to celebrate the good ending of the case, which had been partly kind of difficult.

It was a nice evening and when they arrived back in the hotel they were shocked when Gideon´s cell started to ring. He listened carefully then he hung up. " Bad news, it seems like we got the wrong guy. There was another murder in the woods…" They walked back to the two SUVs which were rented for them. And drove back to the police station.

After they arrived back there Hotch searched a quiet spot and took his cellphone, because he wanted to hold his promise from earlier that they. He dialled a number he knew by heart. When Elle answered the call, he smiled inwardly. Just hearing her voice was making him wish to be with her. He was seeing images of her in his mind and was starting to feel aroused by the combination of her voice, telling him about her day and the memories of their nights together. He finally told her : "It will take a while before I will come back to D.C. We actually thought we had the unsub, but then there was another murder, like the last six and,…." He told her about the case, told her what they thought and asked her what she was thinking. After hearing her opinion he told her what he did that morning then they ended the conversation. When he started to walk to the others his cell started ringing. It was Haley…He explained her the situation and told her to give their son a kiss from him. When she said she loved him he answered : " I love you, too." He noticed he wasn´t sure about this any longer. He was really not sleeping that much, because of work and all the things, which were going through his mind. And when he was able to sleep it was more exhausting than recharging his batteries, because he had nightmares, about his troubled childhood, about Haley finding out about Elle, and then there were also the other nightmares back, the ones he had since Elle had been shot.

_Tbc_

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**A/N: Hope you liked it and PLEASE REVIEW!!!**


	4. Thoughts

**Discs.: I don´t own CM or its characters...**

**A/N: I just changed a few things...**

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Sweet, little secrets, part 1

_4.Thoughts_

_At the plane back to D.C. :_

They had been able to catch the other guy – it had been actually two killers. Now they were on their flight back and everybody was lost in his / her own thoughts. She was sitting alone in one of the comfortable chairs and was angrily staring out of the window. She couln´t believe what Hotch had said about her…Maybe the position of her dad made it easier for her to get this job but she was also a great profiler! Emily Prentiss was so angry but on the other hand he had been that way to everyone today…It was not fair by him to be that rude to his subordinates!

Gideon was also far away with his mind. It was obvious that something was wrong with Hotch. The only question was what…All of it had actually started after Elle had been shot. Aaron had spent most of his freetime at the hospital. Jason didn´t needed to be a profiler to see that his friend (maybe his _best _friend ) was feeling guilty – even if it hadn´t been his fault…Something else he had noticed was the fact that Aaron disliked their newest team member, Special Agent Emily Prentiss, a lot – he didn´t showed it but it was that way. This morning he said it himself, even if most of the others, maybe all of them, hadn´t noticed, that, what he said about her had been meant serious.

The others were talking about everything that came to their minds. After a while even Gideon and Emily joined the small group but Hotch stayed at his place, an unreadable expression on his face. He was far away with his mind. Thoughts about the last one and a half years were keeping to follow every move he made. There were the memories of the first case he had worked on with Elle. He had liked her since he first met her. But he wasn´t aware of the attraction he felt for her, at least not at the beginning. When she had been hold hostage that day he was feeling it for the first time, but didn´t allowed himself to realise that, what he was feeling, when he heard it, was more than worrying for a subordinate. In his opinion love wasn´t in the picture but she was important for him. With her he was able to talk about work and a lot of other things which his wife would never understand. But it was only a fling, he would not leave his family, because he loved Haley, right? They had a wonderful son, and for all of their sakes he would stay with them and because he wanted it that way. He loved his wife and all in all he was happy with her but she wasn´t able to understand his work and he also didn´t wanted to tell her about all the horrible things he saw during every case he worked on. But with Elle…he worked with her, or better _had _worked with her, she had seen the same things during her time with the FBI, especially during her time with the BAU, like he did. It was so easy to talk with her, but not only because of the fact that she had seen also so much horror during their work, it was the fact that they had so much in common. They had been able to bounce ideas so easily, right from the start, like they had known each others for years…It had been so damn hard for him to let her go, because it was also a giant loss mostly for the BAU but also for the FBI in general, because she was a damn great agent and profiler!

_At the same time in Washington, D.C. :_

_At the residence of the family Hotchner :_

Haley had tucked Jack into his bed an half hour ago and now she had the time to think about her husband. Aaron had changed so much in the last time…She had no idea why, but since that case, a while ago, during which, one of his agents had been shot he was different. He worked more, his smiles had now become even rarer than before, he wasn´t talking about his work anymore, or when he finally opened up for a short while he was telling her only parts of it, for example she was totally aware of the signs when a case had really gotten close to him or how it was effecting him, but he blocked every conversation about that topic. She also had noticed that he had nightmares again. To just mention an other example : in the last seven nights he had spent at home she had woken up six times, because he had screamed in his dreams – or because of them. But he wasn´t talking about that with her as well. She was feeling how he was going on distance in front of her and it made her feel so desperate…And her sister, Jessica, wasn´t a help in that point. It had been hard enough before but now the topic she was mostly talking about with Haley was Hotch´s incompetence as husband and dad. She was so sad about the fact that her sister wasn´t able to understand how she felt for her loved husband. And even if it was a fact that his working hours were pure hell for her he made this fact forgotten when he was at home! Of course she would have been more happy if he was home more often but on the other hand, she had known about his goals before they had married and, even more important, he was saving lives with his job. But it made her sad that he wasn´t there with her now, sitting on the couch, enjoying a bottle of wine and the time together – again…

_At Elle´s apartment :_

She was feeling unhappy about the fact that Hotch wasn´t able to spent the evening with her. But he had to work. How she was missing her work and most of all the BAU. To work with the team had been great…They had become close friends, even some kind of family for her. But it had been her own decision, she had wanted to get away from the unsubs, and mostly the memories of the attack. But who was she kidding ?! She loved her job and she was missing it so much…Yeah she felt a lot of better since what happened, but not save! She had felt save during the time she had worked, she had caught killers, rapists, psychopaths and every other kind of criminal but now she felt useless. But the worst things were the nightmares she had and the fact that everytime she was outside of her apartment she was afraid. Whenever she heard a noise from behind or somewhere around her she turned around expecting to see a dark figure behind her, pointing a gun or knife at her – ready to kill her if she made a wrong movement…Well, it would be so god damn easy to talk with Hotch about it. They had talked about, what had happened to her for a few times now, most of the times she had ended up crying and he had hold her in his strong arms, trying to make the pain go away and feeling horrible guilty for bringing the topic up and, most of all, letting something that aweful happen to her. He would make a few calls and she could come back. It had been only a bit more than two months since she had quit. They would explain that she had needed time to figure out if she still wanted to do this job after what had happened to her. But she knew they had even short after she had left found a replacement for her – Emily Prentiss, so it was no real option…

_Tbc_

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**A/N: I hope as always that you liked it and that you send me REVIEWS! Please let me know what you think about my work...!!!!**


	5. Memories

**Discs.: You no all that I don´t own the show,so**

**A/N:This takes place before chapter 3(you will see what I mean).I changed a few things, so don´t wonder about diffrences between the version from now and before...**

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Sweet, little secrets, part 1

_5.Memories_

They just had finished a case in Chicago and were seated in the jet to get back to DC. But it didn´t seemed like they would arrive there soon. They had not even taken off from O´Hare, because of the bad weather. So they were talking with each other about their case or, like Hotch, were lost in their thoughts. He was once again thinking of his marriage and Elle, about his son, work and also wondered what he really wanted. Then he remembered this one case a while ago, which had gotten really close to him and a realisation hit him : it had been Elle who he wanted to be comforted by…

_Flashback :_

It had been a tough week for him, he had had to catch a psychotic serial killer who had murdered ten young boys, because he was sure they were satan´s sons! He felt exhausted and he knew, that Haley would ask him about what was going on in his mind. And at the moment he was thinking it would be better if she wasn´t able to read his mind, not that she really was able to read it at all, she was just knowing her husband to good to not noticing his shock about the case! So he called the Asian restaurant, where he now ordered takeout on regular times, to order some Chinese, as always. Then he finished his last piece of paperwork, cleaned his desk so that it would wait in the perfect, orderly way he liked it, then he got up and, after leaving and locking up his office, Hotch went to his car. He suddenly remembered the item he had forgotten in one of the drawers of his desk, so he went back and hurried to get the bottle of red wine and then nearly forgot to lock the door again, before taking a long, half steady breath, to calm himself a bit down.

After he had left and stopped by at the restaurant to get the takeout, he drove the now familiar route to the place where he wanted to be tonight. He had arranged everything on his arms in a way that nothing would fall down, before he searched and found the needed key. Aaron took another calming breath, then he finally opened the door. He put all the stuff he was carrying in the living-room, except the food and went to the kitchen, from where he heard a small noise. She was standing there cleaning the dishes of the last twenty-four hours. He smiled inwardly and put the food down onto the table. When she heard him she turned around, smiling that gorgeous smile of her. He smiled back, pulled her closer to give her a tender kiss. For a while they just stand there in that way, then they decided to enjoy the Chinese and talk.

"How are you? " She looked at him and for a moment they locked their eyes. She saw the hurt in his wonderful eyes, and knew what was going on. "A bad case?" He nodded. After a moment of silence he started : "He had killed ten innocent, little boys…," and then something surprising happened – tough Supervisory Special Agent Aaron Hotchner started to cry. She knew he had cried also during the time he had spent in the hospital, on her side, because he had felt so horrible guilty for what had happened to her. She had once nearly woken up

hearing someone sobbing then he had said : "I´m so god damn sorry, for letting this happen to you. Please, open your eyes even if you will send me to hell for what I did to you and would never be able to forgive me…God, I just want to make sure I didn´t killed you, please, Elle wake up…" and she knew it was him, who cried for her. She had thought it had been a dream but wasn´t sure. But she was aware about the fact that he would be totally embarrassed about her having heard that. It was the first time she actually _saw _him crying and it was hurting her. So she pulled him close to her and was telling him it was okay to do so. It was okay to cry for someone who meant something for you or about a case, which had ended bad.

When they laid in her bed this evening and he was holding her in his arms she decided to ask him if it had been a dream or not. "During the time I spent in hospital, you have been there a lot. Once I had this dream…I was waking up and you were sitting there, you cried and wanted me to wake up, you felt so guilty and," "It wasn´t a dream," Hotch interrupted her. He was looking at her, then he asked : "You heard this? I thought you were sleeping…However, I was feeling so guilty and…" Elle stopped him with a kiss and leaned closer. It wasn´t necessary by her to tell him that it was okay and they were silently enjoying the proximity to the other one. He was starting to caress her skin and was lost in his thoughts until his fingertips touched lightly her gunshot scar. For a while he was just wondering about how much it had must hurt when the bullet had hit her. And he couldn´t stop himself from starting to say : "I´m sorry for…" He was stopped by a soft kiss of Elle and he realised that she hadn´t meant what she said when he had to let William Lee walk. But this realisation didn´t changed the fact that it was right what she had said that evening…

End flashback 

Hotch was interrupted in his thoughts by Morgan, who said happily : "Finally…" When Hotch looked out of the window he saw that the weather had changed and they were taking off.

_Tbc_

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**A/N: I hope you liked it!**


	6. Realisations

**Discs.:Tsaa...**

**A/N:Short but hopfully great...**

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Sweet, little secrets, part 1

_6.Realisations _

After the plane had landed Hotch disappeared into his office. He saw the angrily blinking light of his answering machine. After a desperate sigh he pushed the button to hear the messages. It was only one. Haley had called to tell him that Jessica would stay for the next few days with them. Another sigh, and he decided to make a call. His wife would understand it. He dialled the number and waited.

_At the residence of the Hotchners:_

When Haley answered the phone she wondered who it could be. The moment she saw her husbands name on the display she smiled, wondering what he could want. "Hey, ehm, listen Haley I´m really sorry but I have to do a lot of paperwork, so I won´t come home ´til the early morning hours…" " It´s okay…Really. " " How is Jack?" Haley smiled and answered : "He´s fine! He sleeps since a while now…It was even not necessary to read something to him!"

_Back at the office :_

Hotch smiled sadly, before he finished the call. He started to do his paperwork and wondered what Jessica would say when she heard that he wouldn´t come home tonight. But what sense would it have to go home, only to have to endure stupid comments by his wife´s sister. He had known that she was hating him since they first met. But she was still Haley´s sister! After he was finished he decided to call Elle asking her what plans she had for the night. He dialled her number, while he was waiting to hear her voice, he changed his mind and decided to surprise her.

_At Elle´s place :_

"Hey, nice to see that you were able to close the case!" Elle smiled at her. Aaron bent down to kiss her and then smiled as well. "What are you actually doing here?" "Haley´s sister is in the town! She hates me …" He pulled Elle close to him and started to kiss her. She was pulling off his tie and smiled, how long had she waited to do this again. She wanted him so badly. But Hotch stopped her when he said, between two kisses : "Not here…," it was just a bit above a whisper, but she heard it and they began to smile conspiranly and went upstairs to her bedroom.

It was wonderful. His touches, his kisses, everything was perfect. The way he kissed her was some kind of special, it was tender but also very passionate.

Afterwards, when she rested in his arms, both of them totally spent, she was happy to have him close to her. She had missed him the few days he had been out of town. And suddenly it hit her. She realised what she had tried to deny.

She had fallen in love with him.

_Tbc_

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**A/N:I hope you liked it even if it relly was very short. As always please let me know your opinion!!!**


	7. A great weekend

**Discs.: Same as always...**

**A/N: Also a bit changed...**

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Sweet, little secrets, part 1

_7.A great weekend_

Hotch had just came back from San Francisco, where he and the team had worked on a case. He had made a decision a few days ago and had taken the weekend off. His wife Haley had no idea about this. She thought he would work. And that was good, because he had plans for the two days. All he needed for the next 48 hours he had at the office, he just needed to do one other thing and then he would be able to enjoy his time off.

After he had finished his paperwork he went to the others and said : "Do not try to call me! I´m not at home and I don´t think that I will be willing to answer my cell…!" With that he wished them a hopefully quiet weekend and left. When he drove out of the parking lot he smiled. Before he drove to his destination he made a quick stop at a supermarket and bought the things he would need. He then called Haley and told her he would have to work once again and that she should call his cell. When he had finished the call he had arrived.

_At Elle´s apartment :_

When she heard him opening and closing the door she smiled happy about the fact that he was there. Hotch went to the living-room and before he was able to say something, Elle gave him a tender kiss. "Hey Elle. Listen, I have a surprise for you. Pack for the weekend we are going to spent it out of town." He was totally aware of the fact that it sounded like an order, maybe it was one, he wasn´t sure.

"Where are we heading?" "You will see it when we have arrived there!" Hotch smiled. He hoped she would like it there.

_Two hours later :_

They finally arrived in front of a wonderful small house in the middle of nowhere. They both smiled and brought their stuff into the living room. They had dinner and then went to the bedroom. When Elle saw the bed she smiled again and said : "Well this bed looks very comfortable…," she trailed off when Hotch pulled her close and kissed her. They undressed each other and enjoyed three passionate hours.

They were lying in perfect silence for a while before Aaron asked : "Do you like it here?" After he had pulled her even closer to him she said : "Is that a joke? I love this place! Have you ever been here with Haley?" Right after she had asked him this question she was regretting it, because of the fact that if he would say yes it was going to hurt her but to her surprise he answered : "No, I wasn´t. First of all I had not really the time to do so and Haley is actually more a person who likes to be in a big town or even a city…" With that he kissed her and the conversation was over.

_The next morning :_

When she woke up Hotch was gone. She put on his shirt, which laid still on the carpet. Then she went downstairs and smiled inwardly when she heard him making breakfast. She entered the kitchen with a warm smile on her face. Her smile was even getting brighter when Hotch indicated the table with a delicious looking breakfast and finally gave her a kiss. They enjoyed their first real breakfast with each other. The ones with the team during some cases and the one after their first night could not be counted as that. Afterwards they decided to go out for a run.

At noon he had showed her everything he thought was worth to and they went to a small Italian restaurant to have lunch. Aaron enjoyed to see Elle smile and laugh so much and even more to have the chance to go out with her. Elle on her part was glade to spent so much time with him and was very satisfied by the fact that it seemed liked Haley didn´t knew this place. She was really looking forward to the rest of the weekend.

_At the evening :_

Hotch had cooked them dinner and Elle was very surprised what a good cook he was. They had eaten in the living-room and had lighted a fire. After enjoying a few glasses of a delicious red wine he turned on the radio and asked Elle if she would like to dance. She was smiling when she remembered her birthday during her time with the BAU and how she had been able to bring Hotch, after a while to be willing to dance with her. He was a great dancer and so she agreed happily. After a while they were totally exhausted so they took a seat at the couch again, sipped for a few times of their wine, before he pulled her into his arms. In that kind of way they fell asleep.

_Tbc_

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**A/N:Hope you liked it and please REVIEW!!!**


	8. Remembrance of chilhood and confiding

**Attention: Because of the fact that it seems nobody is reading this it will be not continued until I know it is worth to spent so much time with writing on it and thinking about/planning what will go on in the next chapter to _satisfy _my readers. I mean it seems like this is one of the best ways to waste my time...!!!!**

**Discs.:I don´t own CM or its characters I only own Andy,Alex,Maria and George...**

**A/N: I finally updated, even if it makes me sad that it seems like no-one is reading my CM-fics -I mean proof me wrong...**

**Warnings : There are traces of violence...**

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Sweet, little secrets, part 1 

_8.Remembrance of childhood and confiding in someone  
_

It had been the perfect weekend. When he had dropped Elle in front of her house he was aware of the fact that he was happy and full of energy for the week. He thought about what he should tell Haley, because he was sure she would ask him about his light mood.

After he had opened the door he smelt the delicious aroma of fresh coffee. He went to the kitchen and stopped in his tracks, not only Haley was sitting on the kitchen-table, but also her sister, Jessica. After a moment he stepped in with a bright smile, because he had decided not to let his peace being destroyed by her. So he said a bright "Good morning, Jessica." The expression on her face was worth it – she looked at him like she had seen a ghost or like she was thinking she was dreaming. He went to Haley gave her a kiss onto the top of her forehead and said a loving "Good morning, honey." She smiled and asked the question he had expecting : "How does it come that you are so cheerful after a weekend of work?" "The case had a good ending, there wasn´t so much paperwork and well who could be _not _in a good mood, when the day seems to promise great weather?!" He was smiling once again before getting a cup of the great smelling coffee. When he had finished his breakfast he stood up from the table, placed his plate and mug into the sink and before he left for getting ready for work he said : "Have a nice day ladies, I have to get ready for work. It could get late this evening…"

_Nearly one and an half hour later :_

When Hotch arrived at the office he was still as cheerful as when he had gotten up this morning after a wonderful weekend with Elle. It had been kind of a heaven on earth. They had talked a lot and had a lot of fun. When he reached the bullpen he said once again a very cheerful "Good morning, everyone! How was your weekend?" "Quiet…Well seems yours was very enjoyable…" "It was!" He left for his office and took a seat. Only a few minutes later JJ knocked on his door and before he was able to ask she said : "I hate to disturbe your good mood but we have a new case…" "It´s okay, what do we have?" She handed him the casefile and waited for how he would react. After a while he nodded and told her : "Okay tell the others we are going to meet in five minutes in the conference-room, of course only if you can get ready with everything ´til then!?" JJ nodded before leaving to inform the others. Leaving Hotch for a moment alone. His cell started to ring. He took a look onto the caller-id on the display and answered it : "Hey honey, I´m glade you call. What is Jessica doing actually here in DC, at our place?" He smiled about Haley´s comment on why he was asking this and explained : "I´m just wondering why she is visiting. Is something wrong with you or her?" He listened to Haley´s explanation and when she had finished he told her : "Well, I have a new case. It could get late…" "It´s okay. Good luck!" They both hung up and he went to the conference-room to meet the others and to start the briefing for their new case.

When they boarded their plane to Miami his mind was totally focused on the case. A seven-year-old boy had vanished from his mom´s place. His parents were now divorced since a few years. His older adopted brother, Andy was living with Alex and his mother together. They had adopted Andy, before Maria had became pregnant with Alex, because they had thought they would be unable to have own, biological children. Why they had divorced they were not knowing – for the moment. He was an Assistant District Attorney and she was owning her own little boutique, where she was selling clothes, she had created all alone.

_At Miami :_

Hotch was glade about the fact that they finally had arrived and were able to start with their work. It seemed like the boy had been kidnapped. It was not really a possibility that he could have run away, there was no reason – and why should a seven-year-old just leave his home in the middle of the night? It was not realistic.

But then, the longer they worked on the case the more they found out about the hell the boy had lived in before his mom had filed in for divorce – George had beaten his own son nearly everyday, because of things Andy did. It was becoming clear that the adopted child was the one he liked more, because George seemed to be sure that Alex wasn´t his son. He was totally convinced that his wife had had an affair and the boy was the child of someone else than him. It was depressing not to know what they could do to find Alex. His dad was an ADA, no-one was thinking he could have done something to his son. He had an alibi, which checked out and he had built up the perfect façade around him.

When they found the body of Alex it was a horrible sight : The boy had been tortured in every possible way. His body was full of bruises and scratches. At least they were able to proof that George Smith was guilty. He was going to go to jail for a very long time.

_On the plane back to DC :_

Nobody was talking during the flight. They were too shocked of the end of the case. They were feeling like they hadn´t done enough to save the life of this poor, seven-year-old boy. Especially Hotch was suffering because of this case, his good mood had vanished into thin air soon after they had arrived in Miami.

_Back at the office in DC :_

Aaron went straight to his office and focused on his paperwork. When he was finished with all his work he called Haley and told her he was stuck in his office with a pile of files, which was not willing to end, on his desk. Then he called his favorite Chinese restaurant, ordered takeout and left. He got the takeout, a bottle of delicate, red wine and then drove straight the way he knew by heart.

_One hour later :_

He opened the door, hoping Elle was still awake. When he saw light from the living-room he was feeling relieved. Tonight he really needed her. He approached her after going to the kitchen and getting glasses for their wine. He knew they didn´t needed plates. When she saw him she smiled happily. They enjoyed their meal in perfect, comfortable silence.

After they had finished he kissed her in this special way of him. She was feeling his longing, his passion but also his need and desperation. He kissed her once more this time very hard making perfectly clear how bad he was feeling. And she was just too willing to give him what he seemed to need so much.

There was no tender and also passionate foreplay like usually. When he entered her he kissed her hard again. Nothing of it was romantic, there were none of those kisses of tenderness combined with so much passion, no caresses no gentle gestures or words. On the contrary : it was rough, frantic sex, but she was enjoying it. When he felt her nails starting to lightly scrape the skin of his shoulders he stopped her, grabbing her hands and while pressing them on the sides of her head onto the mattress, he mad clear in a harsh voice : "No marks, you should know this by now.Haley is not supposed to find out about this!" She didn´t complained she was understanding what he meant.

When he laid down next to her, they were both totally spent. When he had steadied his breathing as well as she hers he started : "I´m sorry, I didn´t wanted to be… " Elle silenced him with a tender touch of her hand onto his arm "It´s okay, Aaron, really, I understand…" He smiled sadly and then – he was unable to hold up his tough façade any longer and started talking : "You remember Vincent Perottta? And what I told him about some growing up becoming criminals and others to catch them?" She nodded and he went on : "I knew exactly what I was talking about…" Suddenly a realisation hit her, so this was the reason he had been so down that evening…Why hadn´t she noticed anything before? Well he was a good pretender and she was aware of the fact that he was not willing to let anyone find out. But now he was confiding in her and she was glade about it. "The case today has reminded me so much of my own childhood. There had been this boy, his dad was a class A jerk in a powerful position. His adopted son was more important to him than his own son…The mother had left him a few years ago, had the custody for the boys, but it didn´t helped. In the end his dad had kidnapped him and then he had beaten him to death. And afterwards he had thrown his own, seven-year-old son away just like he was garbage…It reminded me of the fact that always as soon as my older adopted brother did something wrong it was always my fault- and I received the punishment…When Sean hadn´t been able to graduate from High School it was my fault…" Elle was wondering about the fact that she always had thought Sean was the younger one – but what did it matter now, anyway? "I never understood why my dad did what he did. When I was a child I asked myself always if he hated me for something…My mom was aware of it, but she loved him too much to realise that ,that, what he did to me wasn´t right…That´s why I wanted to work for the law enforcement : I wanted to help other persons…" he trailed of and after a short moment he gave his façade finally up and started sobbing. He pulled her close to him, but in the end she was holding him and she was crying with him about the hell which had been his childhood. When they fall asleep they were totally exhausted.

_Tbc????_

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**A/N:I hope you liked it! Please send me REVIEWS! Let me know your opinion, if not it will be sooner rather than later be deleted, because why should I continue if no-one is interested in it?!!!!!!!!!!! **

**_IT´S YOUR DECISION,IF I CONTINUE,OR NOT_...**


	9. Doubts

**Discs.:Of course I don´t own CM or its characters...**

**A/N:Hey out there!Well I actually had wanted to not continue before I receive at least a few reviews for my CMfics,but I decided after a while of thinking,that I do this all,because I have so much ideas and most of all ,because I love to write,which I actually do for my own pleasure...And actually I´m now aware that I give fking shit for all those,who are thinking thta they can mess withme!If you are not interested in what I´m writing - okay,nobody tries to make you read what I write,if you are interested in my work - great,then I hope you feel not offended and have fun to read this new chapter...!!!**

**While you read this imagine to hear the sound of "best of you", by the FooFighters...(I listened most of the time,while I was writing this to it...)  
**

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Sweet, little secrets, part 1

_9.Doubts_

He had felt really bad for treating Elle the way he did that night. She was telling him it was okay, but he was feeling horrible…He had woken up early this morning and had watched her sleeping. Then he had gotten up to make coffee, or actually much more to distract himself from his thoughts.

When Elle got up and went down, he was still sitting on the kitchen table and stared in his coffee cup. Lost in his thoughts he didn´t noticed her until she stood right next to him. "Are you okay?" Hotch glanced up at her, when he saw her smile he wondered what was going on in her mind. Finally he nodded to answer her question, he was okay and actually also kind of happy about the fact to have her close to him. She had helped him a lot last night. He had never really talked with Haley about his childhood, because he didn´t wanted her to feel sorry for him or worry about how this was influencing him. God he felt so relieved, because he had finally talked with somebody about what he had experienced as a kid. Not even Gideon, one of his closest friends knew about this part of his life. But in Elle he had confided last night. Why he wasn´t sure, but he was glade he had done it. He got up to take a quick shower while Elle had breakfast. He wasn´t prepared that she would only a moment later follow to join him. When she suddenly stood there next to him under the shower, naked and smiling one of her seductive smiles he smirked at her. After a while he started to kiss her. He wasn´t sure if she had planned this but he was unable to stop himself from pinning her against the wall, kissing her hard. She moaned low and it was making him wanting her even more. They started to caress each other, touching kissing every part of each other they were able to reach without moving too much. A moment later he entered her, knowing that she was more than ready for him. When they came the first time he pressed her even harder against the wall, she however didn´t minded.

_Half an hour later, at Hotch´s home :_

Haley was sitting in the kitchen – alone. "Where is Jessica?" His wife smiled. "She left yesterday evening. I think she was kind of frightened by the fact that you were in a so good mood after working the whole weekend and even more by the fact how nice you have been to her…" Aaron gave his wife a sweet kiss before replying : "Well, it happened before. By the way it´s her own fault that we have so much to argue about. If she could accept me as the man you love, without judging me by my working-hours there would be more times like yesterday morning…Listen, I´m really sorry but I have only time to quickly change my clothes before I have to leave for work." Haley nodded slowly. She was understanding that his job was keeping him from spending as much time with her and their son Jack as he wanted. But sometimes she doubted that their marriage would hold the way it was. Sometimes she was feeling like his job was killing her and also him on the inside and would sooner rather than later destroy their small family.

_At the office :_

Hotch was glade that he was able to spend a while alone in his office. There were so many thoughts running through his mind. When JJ came in he was taken totally by surprised but managed to ask : "We have a new case?" JJ nodded and smiled before getting serious again and telling him : "A twenty-year-old guy was murdered in Oklahoma City. His parents are both lawyers, maybe someone is taking revenge…On the other hand there had been a few other killings similar to this…" "Tell the others we will meet in five minutes in the conference-room, okay?" She nodded and left, giving Aaron Hotchner the chance to prepare himself mentally for the case and the task at hand.

_Back at Elle´s place :_

She was once again wondering how it had come that far between her and Aaron. When had she started to feel so much more for him then just what a relationship under colleagues turns into friendship? When did she started to look at him wondering what he was thinking? Had it been after the train incident? Or had it actually without her noticing started right the moment she had met him for the first time? But what did it even matter now? She had realised now a short while ago that she had fallen for him…How was she supposed to deal with this? Should she tell him? Risking to loose him? How would he react if he found out? God, he had a family! He would never even consider to leave Haley and Jack, would he? Sometimes when he had to leave at the morning or more often in the early morning hours, thinking she was asleep, it was nearly killing her at the inside! How was she supposed to go on like this? But on the other hand what she had was better than nothing at all and actually she was never supposed to come that close to him in the first place, right? Shouldn´t she be grateful for every moment she was able to spend with Hotch?

_At the plane to Oklahoma City :_

During the usually talk between the members of his team about the case, Hotchner was unusually quiet today. He was thinking about Elle and his wife and Jack. Why had it to be that complicated? Yeah, he should not longing for being able to be with another woman than Haley. But, god damn, it felt so good to be able to talk about his work with somebody who was able to understand what he was talking about! Especially last night it had been that way. Instead of going straight home he had spent the night with Elle, confiding in her about his horrible childhood. He had thought for a thousand-times about telling Haley, but there had never been the right time…And when he had needed comfort last night, because the case they had worked on had brought back all these horrible memories he hadn´t wanted to bother his wife with it, especially, because he had thought her sister would still be there. He was asking himself what Elle was thinking about this whole situation. How was she able to give him so much more than just a physical release and accepting that it was only an affair? They never really talked about anything which had to do with their situation. They mostly talked about work and personal issues, but never about what their fling was meaning for both of them, they had never talked about which feelings they had for each other…

The team had finally arrived at the airport in Oklahoma City and Hotch had to focus on the case. They went to the local FBI field office for a briefing and to get all information they hadn´t received until now. After they had arrived and introduced everybody they took a look onto the crime scene photos, autopsy report and called Garcia to get a full backround check for all victims and their families and friends. They bounced theories with each other trying to figure out a way to find a connection between the eight victims. They were all nearly in the same age – 20 to 23 years, same height, weight, hair color, eye color they had a lot in common in their appearance. After a while they went out to take a look onto the crime scenes by themselves.

Every of the bodies had been discovered in the woods in a radius of five miles. The bodies were all naked and dirty, the scene full of possible evidences.

When they returned to the office Garcia called telling them everything she had been able to find out so far. "All the victims had rich parents, no-one of them had any records about a past as criminal. Even their friends have no records except maybe a few parking tickets or a record for speeding, even a bit of drunk driving but except of this nothing. By the way, they had visited all the same High School and college." "Thanks Garcia. Call if you find anything else," with that Aaron hung up.

An hour later they were finished with their profile. Hotch started : "Our unsub is a very violent person. He knows a lot about the procedures of the law enforcement, mostly, because he has a long record of violent crimes. He is in his late thirties. Unsuccessful in his job. He is probably divorced, but he has no children. His ex-wife has reported at least one time that he had beaten her because he thought she was cheating on him. But he is not a jealous person, he is just very paranoid." After a moment of silence, in which the agents of the Oklahoma field office had time to write down the information, which were given to them, Gideon continued : "This guy will try to be involved in the investigation. He will call the hotline, giving us hints. You probably have talked at least once with him even before you have called us in. His paranoia urges him to find out what we know so far. He is careful but he risks also to be caught because of his actions. He his actually too afraid to be caught, that he will sooner, rather, than later make a terrible mistake. He can not stop himself from hurting everyone around him. That´s why he will try to contact the media, subconsciously wanting to be stopped…That would be all for now." The agents gathered their stuff together and get back to their tasks.

Three long hours later the unsub was caught while he tried to steel a car. In the end Kyle Smith was arrested for the murders of eight young men.

On the flight back to D.C. the team was talking in a good mood, about how easy they had been able to solve this case. Even Hotch was joining them. That had been very rare in the last time.

_In Washington D.C., a few hours later :_

They had decided to get first of all something for dinner before facing their paperwork. They chose Chinese and enjoyed a light conversation about nearly everything what they thought was worth to talk about. Everyone was enjoying to see their boss in a so good mood like today. When they went back to the office they were still full of energy and ready to get through the boring part of their job. Hotch went straight to his office, hoping he would be finished with his part of paperwork soon.

_Two hours later:_

Mostly to his own surprise Aaron was after only two hours finished with all his paperwork – before anyone else, even if it was a fact , that he as leader of the team had most of the paperwork to do, but also he had his own office and no real distraction from his work like the agents, who were working in the bullpen. He smiled at the others wishing them a good night and left.

_Half an hour later, at the residence of the family Hotchner :_

He was glade to be able to spent the evening with Haley. When he arrived she greeted him with a kiss, then she had smiled at him and told him : "I have missed this…I mean, you coming home that early…" she trailed of when he bend down to kiss her again. She was hoping he wasn´t feeling guilty, because of what she had said.

_Meanwhile at Elle´s apartment :_

She was hoping he would come over to her. She was missing him so much. She was still hoping he would come, but she knew that he wanted to spend time with his family. How long would she be able to endure this, she wasn´t sure. She was also not knowing if she should tell him how she was feeling for him. But she was aware of what it could mean, if she told him…

_Back at Hotch´s place :_

They had watched TV and enjoyed together a bottle of red wine before he kissed her again. He pulled her up from the couch, going upstairs to their bedroom. On their way to their bed they were kissing each other again and again. Haley asked herself quietly how long it had been since her husband had searched for her proximity in this way – it had been too long in her opinion. When they reached their destination Aaron pulled his wife close to him, kissing her tenderly. They started to undress each other.

When they laid next to each other, totally spent, he pulled her close to him giving her a final kiss ´til she fall asleep. For him  
however it was hard to find the way into the land of dreams. He was once again wondering about what he was doing. He was betraying his wife – the woman he loved. The guilt he was feeling right now was bigger then ever before. He was not sure how it was to go on with all of this. The guilt was slowly eating him away from the inside. It was so hard for him to hide his secret from Haley. Sometimes he wished he would be able to just tell his wife what he had done. Of course it would hurt her to hear about his infidelity, but was it not better to end this all before it get´s too late? What would happen if Haley found out by herself? Or if Elle fall in love with him. God, why had this whole thing to be that complicated?!

_Tbc!!!_

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**A/N:Well, I hope everyone who had read this so far has liked this chapter!However plaese lat me know what you think!It makes me happy to find out what my readers are thinking!If there is anything I could do better : Let me please know this as well...!**


	10. Surprising confessions

**Discs.:I don´t own Criminal Minds or any of it´s characters**

**A/N:Well, even if I would be more happy about receiving more reviews I updated, I´m sorry about what I wrote in the A/N on the beginning of the last chapter...**

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Sweet, little secrets, part 1

_10.Surprising confessions_

Aaron was more and more often thinking about how this with Elle and him was going to go on. He still loved Haley but he started to think more often about Elle than about Haley. During the flights they had to make usually while they were working on a case he had started to be afraid of falling asleep, because of the possibility that he could talk in his sleep, to be more exact he was frightened he could start to talk about his affair with Elle...Of course he knew that this was kind of ridiculous, but on the other hand, he should also consider this. He was also knowing that the others had noticed by now the fact that he had changed a lot... What was he supposed to do? Well, the answer would normally be : Ending the affair and trying to fix his marriage, but in this particular case, he had started to realise, wasn´t it that easy, because even he loved Haley he had also, compared to his love for his wife very small, but still existing feelings for Elle! He was feeling horrible for this, but that didn´t changed anything. There had to be another way…A solution for his problem, but he had no clue what it could be. And there was nobody he could talk with about this. He was trying so hard to deny it, but he started to think about Elle even when he was in bed with his wife. Once he had been able to stop himself just in time from screaming _her _name instead of the one of his wife while they were sleeping with each other…He could only hope that Haley wasn´t suspecting anything yet! What would she do in case she would find out? He didn´t wanted to find that out…But he could not imagine to give up Elle as well…So what were his options?

When they landed in Kansas City he tried to get rid of his thoughts and to focus on his work – what was getting harder and harder everyday…Elle was invading his mind nearly twenty-four hours a day!

_Meanwhile in D.C. :_

Haley was starting to wonder what was going on in the mind of her husband…He was working even harder than ever before, spending less and less time with her and Jack. What should she do? She was afraid something was wrong with him…But she wasn´t sure what it could be. He was still the man she had married years ago, but his mood had started to change from one extreme to the other one, in one moment he was perfectly happy and relaxed and in the next one he was suddenly, without a warning, totally down – or the other way ´round…She was really worried, but what could she do? He had stopped to open up to her a while ago. He had stopped now completely to talk with her about his work or what was going on in his mind and she was fearing he would one day stop to talk to her at all! She felt ridiculous…He had always been that way, hadn´t he? If she was thinking about it carefully, she realised there had always been times he was not willing to open up to her. And that was enough for her to feel better, even if she wished they would talk more with each other again, she knew it would destroy more than anything else, if she would force her husband to talk with her, but still…

_At Kansas City :_

Hotch focused his attention on his work. Or at least he tried to do so…But he was every now and then thinking about her. And it was not that easy to work while he only wished to find a way to handle this difficult situation…There was only one real option for him : His family was more important than anything else for him…All the time this thoughts were running through his mind he tried to figure out what was going on in the head of their unsub.

_A few hours later :_

They had finally arrested a suspect. It was pretty obvious that they had the right guy and to all their surprise he actually confessed all killings plus he told them where he had dumped the other three bodies.

After they had closed the case Aaron was glade to get home.

_At the office :_

While he was doing his paperwork he started once again to think about what he should do. But none of these thoughts stopped him from calling his wife once again and telling her he had to work. Afterwards he left the office to get to Elle.

_At Elle´s apartment :_

They enjoyed the evening. And after they had dinner he was pulling her close to him. They started to kiss each other passionate. He wanted her so badly and at the same time he wanted just to hold her in his arms. She was enjoying the fact that he was together with her. They went to her bedroom and she started to pull off his clothes as well as he did the same with her. When they had laid down on her bed he started to paint her body with his tongue, trailing kissing on her chest and abdomen. He once again noticed how smooth her skin was. To feel him close to her again was making her unbelievable happy.

_2 hours later :_

When he hold her in his arms Elle had made finally a decision. "You know, I´m really happy, about having you here…I love you Aaron, like I never ever before loved another man…and I´m doubting I will ever be able to love another man the way I love you…" He was totally stunned by that statement of Elle. But on the other hand he was happy even if it was making all of this now even more complicated than it was already…However he was unable to say anything about it, so he just pulled her closer to him and hold her. She on her side was glade about finally having told Aaron about how she was feeling…A short while later they both fell asleep.

_Tbc_

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**A/N:I hope you liked and please send me at least a few reviews!**


	11. Trying to get back

**Discs.: Of course I don´t own CM or its characters!**

**A/N:For all, who haven´t noticed ´til now I have changed my penname from Sammy Sp into Sammy Elle!I know it took a while for me to update... This time it´s more focused on a casefile! I want to thank all my readers, especially those who are reviewing, because it is very important for me to know what you think! I mean, in case I don´t receive any reviews I start to wonder what I made wrong...It is also not like I can not handle critism, I mean as long as you can base it on something and express it in a nice and constructive way, feel free to send me also your opinion in case you disliked, what I wrote...And I also always appreciate tips, how I can become an even better writer...Most important is, that you are honest to me!  
**

** Special thanks goes to Jadedragon, who made me, with her encouraging words, start writing and more important posting my stories. Furthermore I want to thank Hotchner for her encouragement to continue this fic!**

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**Sweet, little secrets, part 1 

_11.Trying to get back_

When Hotch came into the office his team members were waiting for him in the conference-room. "Hey guys, sorry, I´m late…What do we have so far?" "We have a case in Seattle…Ten women were killed after being raped. So far we have no real information," JJ told them. "Okay, so we will make a trip to Seattle…" They got ready and boarded the plane. Aaron started to look through the casefile, but was not really able to concentrate on what he was reading. His mind was every now and then invaded by thoughts of the last night. It had taken him by total surprise that Elle had confessed her love for him. Of course he was not considering to leave Haley for her and that was exactly what surprised him, even more than Elle´s confession, she was not asking him to leave his family, she was understanding how important his wife and son were for him. He was happy about how this was going. Of course it was now even more complicated for him to handle this situation, but on the other hand he started to believe that Elle would, in case he would leave her, understand and accepting it.

He focused on his task again when the others started to bounce ideas how they were going to work on this case. They were enjoying it to have the Aaron back, he had been before Elle had been shot. He was joining their conversations now more often again and was smiling more.

When they landed in Seattle they were ready to handle the case. It wouldn´t be that hard to find this guy. The moment they arrived at the field office they introduced each other once again and were then informed that it seemed that the guy had not started now what he was doing, but was continuing with it after a break of five years. "Okay, Morgan, call Garcia. We have to find out which agents had worked on the old case from five years ago. JJ, take a look into what had been on the news about the case so far. Prentiss, would you please talk with the agents, who are working now on the case and take a look through what they found so far? Everybody else, lets get to the crime-scene." They got ready and went to the place were the bodies were found. It was evident that the women were not killed there. "Why had the guy dumped them here? Have you any clue what this place could mean to our unsub so far?" Gideon gave the agent from the Seattle office a questioning look. After a moment the guy slowly shook his head no and answered : "No, we have no idea why he had chosen this place. But we know that he had chosen this place as well five years ago." The team nodded and took a closer look to the place. It was an old warehouse a mile away from the city. The building was surrounded by woods and it had been difficult to find the right path to get there, even more difficult when you use a car big enough to move a body.

When they came back to the office the other agents were waiting already for them and while they were taking a seat Morgan´s cellphone started ringing. When he looked on the display he smiled and told the others it was Garcia. "What do you found?" He could perfectly imagine her smile when she said : "Hey, hot stuff. I actually found a lot of interesting stuff. For example there was always a lot of violence involved in the killings. And here comes the really interesting part. All agents who have worked on the case from five years ago had died under mysterious circumstances since a year after the case had been put in the archive. The only agent of the team who worked original on this and still is alive happens to be Elle!" Morgan smiled and thanked her before he started to inform the team about the news Garcia had found. "Okay guys. This case gets now really interesting. All agents who had worked on the original case from five years ago died under mysterious circumstances in the last four years. Except of one agent, who happens to be Elle! However, it can not be a coincidence that all these seven agents have died…" "Okay, tell Garcia to dig deeper into the deaths of the agents," Hotchner ordered. "You heard what the boss has said. As soon as you found something call me." "Sure…Bye." "Bye," Morgan ended the conversation. JJ who had informed them about the fact that not very much about the killings had been on the news so far was deep in thought for a moment before she said, with a concerned expression on the face : "Maybe it would be good to call Elle. We should try to get her at least for this case back on the team…She is the only agent who had worked on the case from five years ago and is still alive…" Emily, who disliked the idea, because she knew that, if Elle came back, even if only for one case, she would be the odd one out in the team, she had noticed that before, whenever the other agent became topic in a conversation she was forgotten, however this was something different, so she replied : "I think JJ is right. I mean, if every other agent of the team who had worked on this case five years ago had died in the last four years she could also be in danger. Even if she is unwilling to help us solving the case we should at least warn her…" "Yeah, that´s right. JJ would you please get her a seat on the next flight from DC to Seattle, while I call her..." "What if she does not want to come here?" Morgan interrupted him. "Well, she is going to come here. Even if we have to arrest her to get her here. In a case like this it does not matter what she wants…" Hotch pulled out his cellphone, knowning full well she would say yes, while he went to one of the offices of the agents of the Seattle field office, where it would be more quiet. He dialled her number and waited for her to answer. "Hey, Aaron. Why are you calling? Is something wrong?" He thought for a moment how he should explain the situation to her, before he finally started : "Listen Elle you have to come to Seattle. We need you back on the team for a particular case…" "What? I have quit and you know this," she interrupted. Hotch´s facial expression changed to a sad one when he replied : "Yeah, I know. But this is really important. JJ is getting you on the next flight here. And Elle, this is nothing I will discuss with you! I´m going to tell you about the case as soon as you arrive here." After a long moment of silence she finally muttered a low "Okay" and hung up. Relieved Aaron pocketed his cell and went to the others. When he started to talk his voice was the same as usually : "JJ, would you please call Elle as soon as possible to tell her which flight she is going to take…" Everybody of the team sighed relieved.

A while later the phone started ringing. It was Garcia giving them the wanted information. "Okay guys. I have found out how the seven agents have died. Supervisory Special Agent Anthony Smith died exactly one year and three days after the case had gone to the archive, during a car accident. He was 49 years old, married and had two sons. Agent Peter Anderson, 46 years old and married as well died because of a heart attack six months later. He has a now sixteen-year-old son. It´s not clear if it really had been a heart attack. He had never problems with health and also nobody else in his family. Agent Andrew Malone died while he had been hiking another three months later. He had fallen down a cliff. He had been 35, has a now 18 year-old son and an 16 year-old daughter, his wife has married again a year after Malone died. Two years after the case went cold Agent Steven Gibbs, 41 years old, died during work. He had been shot while he and his new team made a crackdown of a possible lab of drug-dealers. They had done the raid after receiving an anonymous tip. He had been divorced, no children. Another nine months later Agent George Fitzgerald was shot while he was visiting the grave of his former supervisor Smith. He had been 38, married and had a daughter who has just turned to 15 a month ago. A year ago Agent Jack Miller died as well in a car accident. He was 37, married had a son who has just turned to 11 a few months ago. And last but not least, Agent Tom Deaver, 42, was shot while working on a case. He had transferred away from Seattle as well. His wife has married again. He had no children. All the deaths of them seemed not worth to investigate any further. I think, because, if you look into every death without thinking about the other six it is not really suspicious…Nobody had realised that the seven deaths could be linked to each other…" "Thank you, Penelope, could you try to find out more about the agents. Like for example if they had worked also all together on other unsolved cases, to figure out if their deaths could be linked to something else than our case?" Hotch asked, wondering if all those agents had to die, because of the case they were working on right now. "Sure, I will try to find out. As soon as I find anything interesting I will call." They hung up. "Okay, Morgan, could you call the family of Agent Anderson, and ask them if they would agree to an exhumation. I will call the ADA to get the permission…" With that Aaron took the receiver of one of the phones, dialling the number of ADA Simons.

An hour later they had the permission to exhume the body of Special Agent Peter Anderson to figure out, if he had really died because of a heart attack.

_Another half hour later at the Tacoma international airport_ :

When Elle arrived Morgan was already waiting for her. Hotch had asked him to pick her up, to make sure she was really getting to the Seattle field office. When he saw her, he approached her and they hugged for a while, before he stepped a bit back taking a close look on her. "Wow, you haven´t changed much. Except that your hair is longer again…How was the flight?" "Great...It´s nice to see you. But I have to admit you haven´t changed at all, huh?" They shared a smirk before he took Elle's overnight bag even if she protested, telling him she was still capable to carry her stuff herself. "Why can´t you just accept my help? I just want to be nice, okay?" She smiled and gave up, knowing perfectly well it was useless to argue with Derek.

The moment they entered the office the team smiled and when Elle finally approached them they hugged her. Even Emily stood up and shook hands with her, saying : "So, you are Elle. They are talking a lot about you." She wasn´t sure why she was saying this but it doesn´t really mattered. "Nice to meet you…" Elle smiled at Prentiss, knowing full well how uncomfortable she must feel. "Elle, you have a minute?" Hotch was observing her facial expression like a hawk, before he saw her nodding. They went to one of the offices. Aaron opened a bag and took a few things out of it. "Here, you will need this." He handed her, her gun, id and badge. Elle gave him a questioning look and asked : "I´m not an agent anymore…" Hotch´s facial expression changed to a sheepish one when he answered her indirect question : "Well, I have to admit, that I never filed in the necessary paperwork to make your resignation official. I had hoped you would change, after a while, your mind and come back…Officially you are on medical leave, because of the psychological aspect of the attack you survived…However, it seems that this was in the end a good decision…" when he trailed off he started to leave the office and went back to the others. After a short moment Elle followed him, still wondering why, even he had hoped she would come back, had carried her stuff with him all the time. "Okay guys, would you now please be so nice to tell me what this all is about?" When she took a look onto the whiteboard she stopped in her mental tracks, feeling like she had seen something like this once before. Hotch thought for a moment before he explained : "We had been called in by the local FBI field office to assist in solving the case involving the raping and killing of ten women in the age of 32 to 37 years. When we arrived here we were informed that there had been another series of crimes like this five years ago. That case had never been solved. We asked Garcia to find out everything she could about the case from five years ago. She figured out that all seven agents who had worked on the original case have died in the last four years, always under very mysterious circumstances…except of one - who happens to be you! That´s why we wanted you here. You are the only remaining agent of the original case…" Elle thought for a short moment and observed the facial expressions of her former colleagues and Emily, then she interrupted : "Okay, what is the _real _reason? I mean it is not really necessary to have me here for assisting you in figuring out everything about the original case. You could have called me…And I´m also doubting you did this to try to make me changing my mind about working for the FBI or more specific BAU…" Hotch closed for a moment his eyes, he should have considered that she would say something like this, well he had wanted to tell her actually but she had interrupted him. He took a steadying breath before telling her : "Well, there is also a small possibility that whoever is responsible for the mysterious deaths of the seven other agents, who had worked on the case five years ago, could also come after you…" He observed Elle, trying to figure out what she was thinking about what he just had said. After a moment Elle smiled then she said in a light mood : "Okay. So what do you know so far?" When she saw the look on the faces of the others she gave them a look. "What? If this guy would really want to harm me I doubt I would still be alive. I mean he had been able to kill seven agents, why should he, in case he wanted to kill everybody of the team let me stay alive?…Could we now please focus on the case?" They nodded. Then they started to fill her in about what they were knowing so far. A phone started ringing. It was once again Garcia telling them that the results of the tests had arrived. "Listen to this : You were right, this heart attack wasn´t natural. Someone had given a high dose of coke into his coffee or breakfast. The result was the heart attack, because of which Anderson died. And I also have searched for any other possible reasons why the agents could have been killed. There was none. This case had been the only one they had worked on all together. To make sure, I cross-referenced it without incorporating Elle. I also checked if any other agents, these seven had worked with before, had died under mysterious circumstances but I found nothing…All cases they had worked on together had been solved." "Which means their deaths are linked to this particular case…" Morgan mused. "Exactly! I will keep digging and try to find out more about victims, the families of the victims, suspects and friends of the victims. I will also try to find out more about the seven dead agents, family background, medical record and all their dirty secrets…" she trailed off and they hung up. Elle took a closer look onto the photographs off the victims and the dumping place, and her former colleagues. "So they are all dead?" It was hard for her to believe that seven agents she had worked with were dead now…They nodded then Gideon asked : "Had you any idea why he had actually chosen this particular place to dump the bodies?" Elle thought for a long time before she answered : "Of course…We all had theories what the warehouse could mean to the unsub, but we could never be sure. One of the theories was that he had worked there, but now I actually doubt this as well, because that would mean that he had been at least 39 years old, what is not really fitting the profile…We also considered the possibility, that he could have played their as kid, but, that is as impossible fitting the profile as the other, because in that case the unsub would be too young…" There was silence for a moment, before Morgan finally said, after taking a long look onto the photographs : "Maybe it wasn´t a good idea to get Elle on this case…" "What do you mean by this, that she is not capable of working on this?…" to all their surprise it was Emily, who interrupted Morgan. Everybody was watching the two, especially Elle was wondering why it was not the other way ´round. "No. That´s not what I meant, okay? It´s just…I think it would have been safer for her to stay in DC! I mean, take a look on the photos of the victims…It´s obvious how much they had in common with Elle, in their appearance. Plus the fact that all her colleagues, who had worked on this, had been killed. Whoever the unsub is, he had not just raped and killed 25 women, but he also has killed seven agents of the FBI! How are we supposed to know that it is not just a coincidence that he had not come after Elle so far?" They thought for a while, before Elle started : "If this guy would have wanted to kill me he would have done it by now…Equal why he could want to kill me, or why not…like you told me, I´m the only remaining agent of the original case. And some of the things we found are not in the reports…" They all turned towards her, after a moment Gideon asked : "What do you mean by this?" She closed her eyes for a moment, then she answered : "Our memories, what we thought personally about this case, theories that were not fitting to the case, then…There are a lot of those thoughts which haven´t been written down…" "Okay, then tell us..." Hotch gave her a look , which meant come on we need every piece of information you can give us´. She needed a moment to react to this. The memories of the case were painful. "Well, it was one of my first cases I have worked on, as FBI agent…And it was the first homicide case I had worked on. We had been called in after the first body had been found by teenagers, who wanted to have a bit fun in the area around the warehouse. We were working blind, we had no real profile, no evidence like DNA or fingerprints. We worked on this case for weeks, while we had to watch how one by one another 13 women disappeared and were found dead after only a few days. But after a month we still hadn´t found anything…There hadn´t been an abduction for a few days so we decided to try to get him out of his hideout. We decided that I would play the decoy for him, but something went wrong…He wasn´t showing up, instead of trying to get me he had kidnapped another woman in a total different area than usually. The next day her body was found…One of our thoughts why he hadn´t showed up and changed his territory was that our operation had been busted…We even considered that there was a mole in the unit." She took a sip of her coffee. Reid asked : "Why the unit and not the team?" "Because we had so much work with the case that we had always been together in a room…Nobody made a call or anything and by the way it had not been really planned for long…It had been a cloak-and-dagger operation! We had to organize everything, we were too busy and by the way we would have noticed if someone of us would have called the unsub to warn him…But there had been no calls in the whole unit, we had checked this first thing after coming to the conclusion that someone had talked. Well, then short after this incident, the killings had stopped, we didn´t found anything, we even hoped he would kidnap another woman, hoping he would make a mistake, but nothing happened…We went out of real traces, not that we ever had a real trace, and the case went cold. Short after, the others transferred to other units or to other cities…The last time we had met was after Anthony had died…Afterwards nobody of the team met each other ever again." "Why had this guy made a break? I mean, I can not imagine a reason why he had stopped for nearly five years. Okay he had killed seven agents of the FBI, but that´s not a real reason to stop his real business…So why did he stopped? He had just demonstrated to you how clever he is…" "You are right, but well…Do you remember the Keystone killer case? He had stopped killing for 18 years…" They fall quiet for a while thinking about possible reasons. "Well, we can discard a physical reduction, he had not changed his method of killing…" "We can also discard the possibility that he had moved away..." "Can you remember anything else about the original case, which was abnormal…Anything that was suspicious…?" She only was able to shook her head no. "Not yet, but that was years ago! Maybe there is more…Wait, I think Anthony wrote all his thoughts down, I just can not remember where he stored all of his notes. He was some kind of paranoid, always afraid someone could crack into his thoughts, with reading his notes so he was hiding them somewhere…"

It was getting late so they decided to get something to eat. "You still like Chinese?" Elle gave him a look. "Are you kidding? I _love_ Chinese…" They laughed. Then Morgan stated : "I know..." During the time they were eating they talked a lot. They also laughed a lot. Especially, because Reid was still incapable of eating with chopsticks. They had a lot of fun and Elle was even having a few nice conversations with Emily. When they left the restaurant they were in a good mood, laughing and joking.

_At the Grand Hyatt hotel, short after midnight :_

Hotch was sitting in his room, thinking about the case. He remembered the victims and it was getting harder by the minute to think of it.

_In an other room :_

Elle was sitting on an armchair and thought about the case. She tried to remember everything about the case from five years ago. She wondered mostly where Anthony had hidden his notes. Suddenly she heard a knock on her door. At first she ignored it, thinking it wasn´t her door, somebody was knocking on. But after the fourth time she finally stood up and walked to the door. When she opened it she was kind of surprised to see Hotch standing in front of her. His suit jacket had gone a while ago, his tie was loosened, his hair was totally tousled, she hadn´t seen him like this for a very long time. She opened the door a bit more to let him in. He closed the door . Before she could say or ask anything he locked it and turned to her. Before she was able to think about what he wanted he pinned her roughly onto the wall, kissing her hard. When they broke away, because of the need of oxygen she wanted to ask him what the matter was, but he stopped her with another harsh kiss. She started to pull on his shirt, franticly trying to open it. A few buttons were torn away and fall down to the ground. He started to undress her as well. He pulled her closer to him, moving with her towards the bed. It was frantic, harsh and rough, like it was only in case he had had a bad day, but this time it was different in a way or an other.

_Two hours later :_

When they both laid next to each other, totally spent and still trying to regain control of their breaths again, Aaron realised full well what he had done – again. After that night, when he had talked with her about his childhood he had sworn to himself to never treat her that way again. He turned his head to her, giving her a tender kiss. "I´m so sorry, I didn´t wanted to be…" "I know…Listen Aaron, I´m okay with this. Really, what ever it is I can understand…This case is difficult, we all know this! I mean, seven of my former colleagues have died in the last four years under mysterious circumstances…" He silenced her with a kiss, pulling her closer to him. In the dimly lit room, he was still able to see her encouraging smile and after a moment he smiled relieved back. They stayed for a while perfectly silent, before Hotch started : "I don´t know what I was thinking when I came here…It does not matter, if you are okay with the way I treat you or not, I mean, I don´t want to treat you like this and that is what matters…" "Yeah, you are right, but I know you, Hotch and I know that you don´t want to treat me this way, but like you said once to me : You need to find something to prevent the horror we are seeing during work from eating us away from the inside…We need something , which keeps us sane…Maybe this is our way to deal with this…It does not really matter, because we both know why you acted this way, and now, let us stop talking about this topic, okay?" He nodded slowly then he told her : "I know. I just hope that we will be able to solve this damn case. I want to get the guy who killed at least 25 women and seven Special Agents of the FBI. But this is not the worst part of the case…I think Morgan is right…I should not have asked you to come to Seattle…All those victims were looking so much like you and all other agents of the case had been killed…" "Listen, I´m alive and whoever the unsub is, I doubt he is going to come after me a so long time after the case had went cold. Just because he has started to rape and kill again and he had killed my colleagues, it doesn´t mean he is going to try to harm me…And even, if he _would _try it, I´m working on this case with the best team of the whole FBI! He will not be able to harm me…" They were quiet for a while, before Hotch said finally : "I just want you to be careful…If something would happen to you again…I could never forgive myself for putting your life in danger again…I mean, you would be perfectly safe in DC…" She silenced him with a kiss and snuggled even closer to him. Like this they both fall asleep.

_The next morning :_

When Elle woke up, she was alone. It seemed like Hotch had left sometime after she had fallen asleep. When she got up she heard a knock on her door. She hurried up to get dressed while calling : "A moment, please!" When she was ready, she opened the door just to look into the, in her opinion, much too cheerful faces of Morgan, Reid and Emily. Morgan stated even more cheerful : "Morning sunshine! The others are waiting downstairs in the dining-room! And you look like you are needing, like we all, a few cups of coffee!" "Wouldn´t have one of you been enough to inform me about this _surprising _fact?" "Maybe, but Gideon wanted that we three go, getting you downstairs…In my opinion he seems a bit kind of worried, however, are you finished?" "Sure,Reid! I admit I could really use a few mugs of coffee..." Together they went down.

When they approached their table Morgan teased her : "Look, who we had been able to find…The lady has finally decided that we are worth it to have breakfast with…" Elle smiled, before saying : "Morning guys!" After taking a seat she went on : "Have you forgotten to give him his pills, or why is he acting like he is on something…?" They all start laughing. Gideon was the first one speaking : "Well, I think, he is just happy to have the opportunity to have breakfast with you again – like all of us. And, well, you know him, isn´t he always like this?" They all nodded and he went on : "However, I hope you all had a goodnight-sleep!? Because today we´ll need all our energy…" They nodded once again and then enjoyed light conversations, while having breakfast.

After they had finished breakfast they went straight to the FBI field office. Elle was once again lost in thoughts. She didn´t even noticed it, when Morgan took a seat next to her, put down two mugs of coffee, one in front of her the other one in front of himself. He gave her a sharp look, observing her closely, before he finally asked : "Hey Elle. Are you okay?" She turned slowly towards him, thought for a moment, before she answered : "Yeah, I´m fine! I just haven´t slept that much…" They had taken now all a seat on the table when the phone started ringing. It was once again Garcia, telling them she had been able to find a bit more information about, how the seven agents, who had also worked on the case from five years ago, had died. But she hadn´t found anything new about the case itself. Finally Morgan said aloud what they all were knowing : "We need Smith´s notes!" Hotch thought for a moment before he told them : "We should talk with his wife…Elle, Morgan you come with me…"

_Twelve minutes later, they arrived at the residence of the family Smith :_

When they rang the doorbell they hoped Mrs Smith would open. A moment later the door was opened by a woman in her early fifties. "Yes…What can I do for you?" Hotch told her : "I´m Supervisory Special Agent Aaron Hotchner and these are the Agents Derek Morgan and Elle Greenaway. Could we come in…?" The woman opened the door a bit more, saying : "Sure,…" then she trailed off and seemed to be lost in her thoughts. When they took a seat in the living-room and all of them had gotten a mug of coffee, she asked : "So, what can I do for you?" "We are working on a case, which happens to be linked to one of your husbands cases, from five years ago…" "I´m sorry, but I actually don´t know how I could help with this. Anthony never talked much about his work…" She was once again lost in thoughts, before she said : "Greenaway,…I could swear I have heard this name before,…" Elle looked at her, then she explained : "Well, I have worked with Anthony for a while…I think we met on his funeral…" "Yeah, right,…I remember… But you didn´t stayed long…And I think I heard the name also concerning something else…However, I still have no idea, how I could help you…" "Well, your husband made notes to all his cases…And actually, we are needing those notes, but we don´t know where they are…" "Oh, right his notes…I think he had stored them somewhere here in the house…" Someone opened the front door, saying : "Mum, I´m back…Oh we have visitors…Hey, I´m Michael. What´s the matter?" "This is my oldest son…He had come to spent his vacation with me…However, Miky, can you remember where your dad has hidden his notes?" The young man thought for a moment, then he answered : "Yes, why?" "I´m Special agent Hotchner, these are the Special Agents Morgan and Greenaway. We are working on a case, which is linked to one of your father´s ones. Well, we need his notes, to figure out, if there had been something more than the things we found in the reports from the case…" Michael thought for a moment, then he answered : "Well, I think he put all his notes in boxes on the attic…But I´m not sure, if you want you could take a look there…" Hotch, Elle and Morgan exchanged a look, before they nodded and got up from the couch, while Aaron said : "If that´s okay…" They went upstairs and when they arrived at the attic, they were taken totally aback by how many boxes were stored there. Morgan took a look onto the work at hand and mused : "Wow, your dad was really hard-working, huh? I just hope he labelled everything…" "I think we should get all this stuff to the office, of course only if you and your mother are okay with this?!" Michael just nodded : "Well I think that would be best, because in all those boxes are only notes of my dad, everything else is in the basement…" They started carrying the boxes downstairs and to their car. Luckily Michael offered to help them in getting the boxes to the office.

_Back at the office :_

"Hey guys! We have now _all _of Smiths notes…" Michael left after helping them getting all boxes in the office. They started to look through the notes. After a while Morgan said finally : "Well, I think I know now why Smith trusted Elle so much…He had worked, before becoming a Federal Agent, with the NYPD and now guess who he had worked with…A Detective Robert Greenaway…He actually was Robert´s supervisor." "So Smith has worked with Elle´s dad?" "Well, "Greenaway´" is not a very common name, right? I mean it would be a big coincidence,. if there had been two Detectives with family name "Greenaway" in the NYPD, wouldn´t it? " They nodded in agreement. "Hey guys! I found the notes of the case from five years ago…" Elle pulled a few notepads out of the box in front of her…"I think, we should take a break, getting something to eat and continue refreshed afterwards," Hotch offered, thinking they all could need a break for lunch after looking the whole morning through notepads full of information about a lot of different cases. They ordered Chinese from the restaurant they had eaten at the evening before. While enjoying their meal they bounced ideas about the case and about the fact that Elle´s dad seemed to have worked with Smith…When they had finished they went back to going through notes, but this time more relaxed, because they had found the notes they needed, so they knew they were not wasting their time. Another woman had been found dead this morning so Hotch decided, JJ should get ready for a press-conference. While JJ was giving the profile to the press Emily found an interesting note about the case from five years ago : " Hey, I think I found something!" They turned to her when she began to read the note aloud : "It was not good enough to keep the team together all the time after deciding to let G. play the decoy…There has to be a mole in the unit, the chance it was someone of the team is too low to even be considered…I was observing them all, I – we - need to find him or her, as well as the guy who has killed all those women…On the other hand it was good that in this way nothing had happened to G., I would not be able to deal with this…Not after what I promised to R. … "

_Meanwhile, during the press-conference :_

"The person we search is white, male, ambitious. He is in his late thirties and successful in his job. He needs to be always in control about everything, he is also very dangerous, because he is very short-tempered and gets fast violent. As far as we know he had killed at least twenty-five women," JJ told the press. "How do you want to know that you will be able to catch him this time?" One of the reporters asked. JJ was taken by surprise for a moment, but her face was still displaying calmness, when she said : "Pardon?" The guy who had asked the question smiled, before he went on : "Well, you haven´t been able to stop him five years ago, what makes you so sure, this time would it be different?" "We made a lot of progress since then. Plus, the best agents of the FBI are working on this…" With that the conference was over and she went back to the others.

"Hey guys! Have you found something useful?" They nodded and Gideon asked : "How has it gone?" "Well, they start to want more than just a profile…They asked about the old case…However, what did you found?" JJ took a look around, noticing all the boxes. "We have his notes! Where have I stopped…Oh yeah, well…the rest is illegible, sorry…" "Okay I think "G" is Elle and "R", well it´s obvious that he means Elle´s dad, who else could he mean, when talking about a promise concerning if something happens to G or to be more specific Elle...?" They thought for a moment before agreeing to what Reid had stated. After a while of silence, which the team used to look again through Anthony´s notes Hotch finally said : "Had you at that time, any suspicion, who the mole could be?" Elle shook her head no, then she told them : "Of course, we had wondered who would be capable of doing something like this, but there was nobody! And like I said also yesterday : there hadn´t been a call…" Finally Morgan suggested : "Well, I will call Garcia, maybe she finds something…" They agreed and to all their surprises they heard from Garcia exactly the same thing like from Elle : There hadn´t been made a call or anything else. "What if the unsub is a cop or even an agent?" "No, this is not an agent…or cop. It would not fit the profile…" Suddenly Elle, who had kept looking through notes exclaimed : "I found something _really _interesting!" When the others joined her she started reading aloud : "Maybe there isn´t a mole, this is all which is legible in the whole sentence, but there are still a few words, which are at least a bit readable : area and appearance. I know this is not much, but maybe we started this from a totally wrong perspective…What do we _know _so far for sure?" The others gave her a questioning and also doubtful glance, before Emily started : "Well, we know that his victims have a special type of appearance…" "We also know that his victims had vanished from the same area…"Reid mused. After a short moment of silence Hotch added : "And we know for sure that both places are not the real crime-scene!" "Exactly, so what do we know about his victims, what have they in common except their appearance?" "Not, much actually. They had worked different jobs, six of them were married and had children, another seven had been married, but had no children. Five had been divorced, having children and two were divorced, having no kids. The others were single, no children. They had been in the age of 32 to 37. They had hobbies like Yoga, back-horse riding and going out for a run…And, except of one of them, all women had vanished from a bar. We also know they all had wanted to become a lawyer." Morgan took a sip of his coffee, before he continued : "What do you actually think Elle? I mean, why do you make us repeating what we know by now…?" "I think we are missing something…I mean what makes us so sure that the victims are random? This seems too organized for being not planned in detail, starting with the victims, at least in my opinion…Five years ago we wondered why the hell, he was actually kidnapping specific those women. We rebuilt , what had happened in the twelve hours before they had gone missing, and we figured out that all victims had been seen the last time in a puplic place. There had been quite a few women fitting the profile of the victims. And in my opinion the victims have too much in common to being chosen randomly, I mean of course there are also differences between them, but I think even this had been wanted by the killer…I think to get the unsub we have to start once again from the beginning, not thinking about what we believe to know by now…" They fall quiet for a moment again, before Gideon admitted : "Elle is right…Usually we try not to think about what the involved officers or agents are telling us about the case. This time, however, we focused too much and too soon on what we had been given by the agents who had worked on the case before, we found out that this is part of a series, which started five years ago…So we focused our attention on these information. So maybe we should start once again from the beginning…" They started to put away what had been written on the whiteboard and put away the photographs. Then they started with the real work. Hotch commended : "Okay, lets start with the victims…from five years ago" " Kelly Stewart, 34, married, no kids was found dead one morning by teenagers. She had been raped before being killed. Two days later the police found 36 years old Stella Walker she had been single, died the same way like Kelly. Another two days later Laura Watson, 32, divorced, two children was found. Next had been in two-day-intervals Anna Beth Smith and Tara Stevens, both 35, married, having two children…." Like this they went on ´til they reached the last victim "…Well and the last known victim, Shannon Houston, 37, single, no children had vanished yesterday evening around eight o´clock and was found dead this morning. All victims were raped and killed in a horrible way. The unsub had beaten and strangulated them before he finally cut through their throats, nearly beheading them…" "Why this sudden escalation? What has happened that he suddenly is not taking so much time to enjoy what he is doing?" They talked for a while, before finally coming to the conclusion that all 26 victims had known their killer. They also were sure that the unsub had not chosen them randomly. Then they started bouncing ideas to find a reason why the unsub could have stopped for five years. "Maybe, we should check hospitals, it could be that he had an accident, which made him incapable of killing ´til now…" Emily looked at the others. They nodded and Morgan dialled Garcia´s number. "Tell her also to check if somebody, fitting the profile had been arrested short after the last killing five years ago and was set free, short before the killings started again…"Reid told him. He nodded and told Garcia to hurry with it. When he had ended the conversation he told them : "She will call as soon as she has found something…" They went back to looking through Smith´s notes.

_Two hours later :_

"Well five years ago it had meant he was stopping to kill, after his behavior escalated…Maybe it will be this time the same way…" When the phone started ringing they hoped it was Penelope telling them she had found something. But it was the local Police Department, telling them they had found another body… They all got up to get to the scene, except of JJ, who should stay in case Garcia would call.

_At the scene :_

The body was showing how much indeed the behavior of the unsub had escalated. It was full of bruises and cuts. Her eyes were wide-opened. He hadn´t taken the time to redress her. But it seemed like it was also an advantage for them that the unsub was seeming to act in a hurry. A police officer told them they had found a lot of evidences there, even the fact that this wasn´t the original crime-scene wasn´t changing this.

All of them were still feeling sick from the sight of the body when they came back to the office. Right after they arrived the phone rang and Garcia told them, that she had found three guys who were fitting the profile. One of them had been involved in a terrible car accident, and had needed therapy for a long time. The other two had been in prison. One for steeling a car, the other one for speeding. They told her to get a full background check for all three and then decided to take a break for dinner. They went to an Italian restaurant and enjoyed their meal, trying to not think about the case. They decided to get to their hotel to get a bit sleep, before going back to the office.

_At the hotel, around midnight :_

Morgan was sitting in is room. He thought about the case. How was somebody able to do something so cruel to so many women. This guy was as horrible and crazy as Ted Bundy…If they were not able to stop him…He changed to his pyjamas and tried to find sleep. But it was more difficult than he had thought. All the time he saw her in his mind. He wasn´t able to get rid of the images of the body.

Reid as well was still up, wondering what was going on in the head of their unsub. It was too hard to get rest at the moment. He was still seeing images of the latest victim of that sick bastard..

JJ was lying in her hotel-bed and slept. But it wasn´t a good sleep. She had nightmares and woke once again screaming up. It had felt so real – too real!

While thinking about the case Emily emptied a few of those colourful, little bottles. It was starting to get really close to her. All those horrible things she saw everyday…She started to wonder once again if it had been a good idea to ask for a transfer to the BAU…

Gideon, as always, was focused on the case. He tried to ignore any emotion he could feel. It was something he had started to do years ago. And by now he had nearly perfected this way of dealing with the job. He knew he would be the only one of the team, who would be able to have a restful night…

Hotch was feeling how this case was more and more getting to him. His phone rang. He knew it would be Haley asking how he was and if he had a clue how long it was going to take ´til he would be back, but he had not the energy to talk with her right now. He ignored the phone, stood up and left his room. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that he was still feeling totally down from the sight of the crime-scene. God, this woman was looking so much like _her_.

Elle was sitting once again on the comfortable armchair. She thought about the possibility that Smith had really known her dad. He had never mentioned her dad. She was interrupted in her thoughts when she heard somebody knocking on her door. When she opened it Hotch was standing there his shirt was crumpled, the sleeves rolled up. His suit jacket had gone long ago and his tie was loosened. His hair was a mess. In his eyes was something she wasn´t able to interpret. Before she was able to say something he kissed her harsh, grabbed her and pushed her against the wall. She responded immediately, tugging on his shirt, they both knew by now how impatient she was , especially in case she wanted something… His kisses were getting even more rough and unforgiving, when once again buttons popped up from his shirt. She realised he would not let her ask what the matter was and it was okay. She pulled on his shirt, wanting to get rid of it as fast as possible. He was pulling her top over her head. She pulled off his clothes while he was kissing her neck. When she was finished with undressing him, she let her hands slide over the muscles on his chest. Hotch had finally pulled of Elle´s trousers and was now struggling to get open her bra, when he ripped it accidentally, a clasp broke. He dropped the material onto the ground and after pulling off her panties as well he picked her up, carrying her to the bed.

There was no tender foreplay, no caresses, no gentle gestures or words. When he entered her it wasn´t gentle or something like this. Nothing of it was romantic, on the contrary, their kisses were harsh as well as everything else. It was frantic, rough sex, they had, in a way like never before…She was starting to wonder what the matter was, he had never been _that _rough to her…

_Around three o´clock :_

When he finally sank down next to her, they were both totally exhausted, trying to steady their laboured breathing. This time he said nothing, no excuses like before. They both knew, he didn´t wanted to treat her like she was garbage for him, they both knew that she understood, so words to proof it were not necessary. He hold her in his strong arms, giving her every now and then a sweet kiss onto her forehead. After a while she asked finally : "What´s wrong?" But subconsciously she knew why he was this way. The images came back to his mind – but this time the woman was not just looking like Elle anymore, it was Elle, who he was seeing, lying there raped and killed brutally…He answered : "This case…it…it starts to really getting to me…" he trailed off knowing, Elle would understand. Another while passed and when she relaxed in his arms he got up. He pulled the sheets over her and got dressed. When he left her, he didn´t turned to take a look on her.

_Back at Hotch´s room_

When he came back his cellphone started ringing once again. When he answered, it was Haley wanting to know how he was and if he knew how long it would take until he would come home…

_The next morning :_

When they came back they started again with looking through the notes of Smith. After a while Garcia called, giving them all she had been able to find about the three suspects. When the conversation was ended Hotch asked : "Had any of those guys been a suspect five years ago?" Elle thought for a moment, then she finally answered : "No, but the name of one of them…I think I heard it before…Cooper…Right, there had been a young agent named Cooper, he had started to work here a year before I got here. However he had a broth…Oh my god,…Anthony was right – there had never been a mole. I remember, that Coopers older brother came here to pick him up. His car had been in repair… but Danny had too much work to do here, so he sent George home alone…He must have seen everything…" "Okay is Cooper still working here?" Gideon interrupted. "I´m not sure…" One of the field agents from Seattle approached them, carrying the results from the autopsy with him. Before he left them again Morgan asked him : "Hey guy, is a Agent named Danny Cooper working here?" The guy thought for a moment, then he replied : "Yes, he is working here, actually he is sitting right there." The agent pointed to a white guy, sitting on a desk and talking with some of his colleagues. They thanked the agent, then they called Cooper to them. He recognised Elle the moment he saw her : "Oh, Special Agent Greenaway,…Nice to meet you again…" They shared a short smile before he asked : "So, what can I do for you?" "We have to ask you a few questions about your brother…" While Hotch told Danny this, Morgan called Garcia to ask her to check if the DNA they found on the crime-scene was matching with their new main suspect George Cooper. "Has your brother acted strange in the last time?" "Well, he was acting always strange, once he had made my dog walk on the street. A car hit him and George laughed…Well, and after his accident he had changed. He was restless, wanting to recover as fast as he could…He was asking a lot about my work. This has changed a while ago, before the first body was found." The phone rang. It was Garcia telling them the DNA was matching. "Where is your brother now?" Hotch wanted to know. "He is working…" They nodded and got ready.

_In front of a warehouse :_

After having given instructions to the SWAT they went in. He had asked himself for the last half hour if it was a good idea to let Elle coming with them…He knew of course that Elle was okay, and that she was totally capable of doing this. Nothing would happen to her, he reassured himself.

When they found him he started shooting immediately. He called : "Nice to meet you again Greenaway, now you can greet your former colleagues for me!" When they finally arrested him for killing 27 women and seven Special Agents, he laughed totally mad.At the office he confessed everything, being totally proud of himself.

_Back in DC :  
_

Elle had flown back with them. Before they parted Hotch said : "Listen, we all would be happy if you would come back…However, if you ever change your mind just call…" She smiled and promised to think about it.Both knowing for sure they would see each other soon again.

When Hotch was lying in bed this night,next to Haley, thoughts about Elle were once again invading his mind. The guilt he felt was increasing day by day and it was getting more and more harder for him to live like this...Cheating on his wife, treating Elle and sometimes even Haley like garbage, playing with all their feelings. But he was also not willing to give up what he had with Elle, he had realised the night before. He was needing her, in so many ways...And, well, he was betraying Haley only phisical, there were no feelings for Elle than friendship mixed with sexual attraction, right?

_Tbc_

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**A/N:Thanks for reading.Please send me a lot of REVIEWS!!!!I hope I will be able to continue soon,but I can not promise anything!**


	12. A phone call

**Discs.:I don't own CM or its characters!**

** A/N:Well, I was kinnda busy, that's why it took me so long to update. Now have fun reading this!**

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**  
**Sweet, little secrets, part 1 

_12.A phone call_

When she heard the door being opened she smiled. She smiled when Aaron came into sight and got up. They met halfway and he bent down, kissing her in the special way of his, like he only kissed her. "It's so great to see you again, after all these days…"she trailed off, when he kissed her again and he finally said : "I know, but Haley was not feeling well, her headaches were pretty horrible in the last time…I missed you too, Elle…" They both smiled. They hadn't seen each other since short after the case in Seattle, what was now two weeks ago… "She is visiting her sister, so I will come over also tomorrow evening…" They went upstairs, to her bedroom…

_The next evening :_

Hotch had kept his promise and had come over this evening as well. They had enjoyed a great dinner with each other and a bottle of expensive wine. When they went to the bedroom she smiled seductively at him. He smiled back, knowing perfectly well, that the night was going to be very enjoyable…They started kissing and undressing each other. Elle, impatient as always was tugging on his shirt. He pinned her onto the wall kissing her hard.

When they were resting next to each other Elle said : "I love you so much Aaron…" she trailed off. He pulled her closer to him and kissed her softly onto her forehead. They both knew full well that they both wanted this to never end…They were finding so much comfort in each other, but on the other hand both of them knew also perfectly well that it was impossible that, what was going on between them, was going to go on like this forever…

His cellphone started ringing. "Yeah?…Oh, Haley…" For a moment it was silent and Elle closed her eyes, not wanting to think too deeply about Hotch's family. "I'm sorry…I had turned off the phone, because I was so tired." It was silent again and a moment later he hung up. When Elle took a look at him, the only thing she could read in Aaron's face was pure shock. She had to fight the rising panic back and asked with a unsteady voice : "What is it? What did she wanted?" Hotch thought for a moment trying to find a way to tell Elle what she wanted to know. "Ehm, she…She wanted to know where I am…She knows I'm not at home…" Elle's facial expression changed to a horrified one and she whispered : "What? How…?" "She came back, earlier and wanted to surprise me…Jack is staying at his aunt's place for a few days and…I…I have to get home…" Elle nodded slowly, knowing that he had to leave…

_At the residence of Hotch :_

"You have been with an other woman, right?! And don't try to deny it! I'm smelling her perfume on your clothes!" "Haley, please, listen to me…I'm sorry, okay?!" Hotch tried desperately to find a way to safe his marriage. "No! It's not okay! I just want to know three things. First : Why…? Have I done something wrong? What has she, what I can not offer you anymore?" Haley was sobbing horrible, it was hurting Hotch so much to see his wife in a state like this…

_Meanwhile at another place :_

Elle was sobbing in her pillow…She had put on one of the shirts, which Aaron had left at her place once. She had watched him leave and now she was unable to do anything else than crying. She knew she was going to never see him again…This was the end for _them_, if there ever had been a them…She had lost him…

_Back at Hotch's home :_

He wanted to make the pain go away…"Listen Haley…It has nothing to do with you. You haven't done anything wrong. It just happened…I don't know why, or why I continued to see her,…" "Who is she? Am I knowing her?" Aaron shook his head, well, Haley had met Elle only once, but they haven't even talked with each other. "No, you don't" Haley swallowed then she asked : "Do you…Do you love her?" Hotch saw the fear in his wife's eyes and heard it as well in her voice. "God, of course not! Haley, listen to me. The only woman I love is you! This other woman was just a fling, a physical release which distracted me from the stress I have to deal with everyday…It has meant nothing! Please, Haley believe me, I love only you and that with all my heart…" Tears started streaming down his face now as well. He was standing in front of her and looked her straight into the eyes. "Please, Haley… honey…Please, forgive me, I'm so god damn sorry…" "For how long had this gone on between…you and … and this other woman?" All rage had vanished from her face, the only thing, which was left was indescribable pain. He led his head drop and answered honestly : "Five and a half months…I'm so sorry for having done this to you…I never wanted you to find out about it like this, really, I thought so many times about telling you, but I…I just didn't knew how I should do this…Believe me, I never wanted to hurt you, please forgive me…" She looked at him, questioning, than she wanted to know : "Is it over now?" Hotch nodded and answered : "Yeah, it is over…" "Well, then I think…I can forgive you…It is going to take a lot of time, but we will work this out…" Aaron pulled his wife close to him. They both started crying again and he said again : "I'm so sorry…I love you so much…!"

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**A/N: Thank you for reading this! I hope you liked this! A secret was finally revealed, but is this really the end? You will see...!Please send me a lot of reviews!  
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